Exclusive Evil - This Year's Miracle Supplement

Imagine if Substack let you center text.

You might’ve expected something about my loving relationship with the police. That’s later. For now, some fun. If you enjoy it, tell a friend. If you don’t, tell them ironically.

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This Year’s Miracle Supplement

By Dennard Dayle

FitBomb is your resource for the best in traditional, experimental, and discontinued supplements. We accept no responsibility for any side effects, and take full credit for gains. Inject intelligently.

Reviews for: BiHydro Liquid Performance Boost

PlatoLifted wrote:
Pretty much a cheat code. On BiHydro, I’ve been able to bust out sprints like nothing. I think they’re going to ban this stuff soon.
Rating: ****1/2

WhiteAdderGoesForth wrote:
Live fast, die young. BiHydro’s the best grey zone boost to come along in years. Lifting heavier and cycling harder is great, but it also shines as an appetite suppressant. Get some BiHydro and add order to that eating disorder.
Rating: ****

KratosIsMyInspo wrote:
Be careful. My son got into my stash, and now he won’t stop peeing. My wife thinks it’ll pass, but I’m losing my shit. If this keeps up we’re going to the hospital.
Rating: ** ½

BayonettasHusband wrote:
I can’t argue with my numbers. Whatever’s in BiHydro gets me through a workout like 80s coke. But just one flavor? Major missed opportunity. It should at least come in chocolate. Everything comes in chocolate.
Rating: ***

JackedOLantern wrote:
Bloating, sweating, borderline incontinence. Not worth it, stay natty.
Rating: *

StillLovesDonuts wrote:
Screw Creatine. Forget that jar of old-school Jacked that’s sat in your closet since 2005. I’m all in on BiHydro. Stock up before Congress catches on.
Rating: *****

ACredibleHulk wrote:
The manufacturer calls this essential. But what exactly is hydrogen? And why don’t they want you to know? Keep your distance. They’re after everyone too smart to vaxx up. And by they, I mean [removed by moderation team].
Rating: *1/2

EpsteinsAlive wrote:
Works, but tastes funky. Mix in a little sugar for a more natural flavor.
Rating: ***

HulkHogan2024 wrote:
As usual, baseball players know how to pick the good shit. They’re barely hiding it. If you pay attention, you can see them chugging this stuff on live television. If you thought steroid era stats were crazy, wait until the BiHydro records start exploding. Asterisks for everyone.
Rating: ****1/2

BigTodd wrote:
My skin looks great!
Rating: *****

SwoleAndSingle wrote:
It’s okay, though I’m with EpsteinsAlive on the flavor. I mix mine with protein powder to save time and taste buds.
Rating: **1/2

BiggerTodd wrote:
I’m quitting, cold turkey. It took less than two days on this poison for the cravings to kick in. First it was an extra dose after workouts. Then a dose in the morning, just to get myself going. When I started sneaking doses into the office, I knew something had to change. Gains are important, but so is your health and soul. Don’t toss your life away.
Rating: *

WakandaFivever wrote:
More trash from geeks that never lifted air. Your body craves one thing: roots from the heart of Mother Africa. Decolonize your muscles, and discover the African God hiding within. Check my profile for links and a discount.
Rating: ****

SyntholIsMyAntidrug wrote:
I’m always skeptical when the flavor of the month comes through. I make a living competing, so I can’t afford to poison myself or piss hot. But man, I can barely remember what it’s like to get through a session without BiHydro. My doc’s confirmed it’s safe—she even got annoyed that I kept asking. We’ve got the new creatine smoothie on our hands, boys.
Rating: ****

DiogenesWasRight wrote:
Good ish, but ignore the recommended dosing. Thirteen cups of anything a day will kill you. And we all know it just takes one dead idiot for the nanny state to ban a perfectly good appetite suppressant.
Rating: ***1/2

SmallTodd wrote:
It works, but it’s a real wallet killer. I know Nestle isn’t exactly a charity, but they’re pretty much asking me to find a knockoff.
Rating: ****

StraightEdgeSurvivor wrote:
When you poison your body, you poison your soul. God can see you.
Rating: *

BachelorInPurgatory wrote:
Pure placebo. LabDoor says there isn’t a single muscle-building or energy-boosting compound in this nonsense. No creatine, no electrolytes, not even old-fashioned thermogenics. Just filler molecules you can find in every other sports drink. Barely worth the plastic it comes in.
Rating: **

BiggestTodd wrote:
I swear to God, this is Earth’s dumbest community. The fact that any of you have survived this long is beyond science. You’re supposed to cut BiHydro with milk. Thank me later.
Rating: *****

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Thanks for reading. I have a spicy collaboration with Amran and Michael coming on Super Bowl Sunday.