Extra Evil - Accentuate the Sane

Today’s Fortune: Your favorite's coming back, at only twice the price.

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Newsreel

House Republicans stepped on a rake.

Killer Mike condensed black life into one afternoon.

Blinken entered a wildfire with a squirt gun.

Boeing noticed a few planes missing wings.

TikTok entered the silent film era.

Virgin paused tourist launches to avoid a Boeing.

Today's Mood

I’d love to know what that word balloon said.

War Journal

Adobe has a talent for identifying, isolating, and drowning features I like. I’d complain, but it’s nice to see progress. Most monopolies tread water. Instead, I get personalized service. Just backwards.

At least features are more humane cuts than people. The Google layoffs feel like the end of an era. I visited their 8th Avenue office a decade ago. The game room had every console I knew, and a few I didn’t. I saw the dollar cost of majoring in feelings. And what it looked like when an employer at least pretended to care if you lived or died. Another age.

I haven’t read an op-ed in a month. The sun is brighter. Birds sing sweeter songs. My life expectancy’s jumped ten years. I see Kellyanne Conway on a Times byline, and I can just walk away.

I do wonder why I keep the subscription. While the longform stories deliver, there are sites that don’t tempt me to kick through drywall. I know party lines and military adventures don’t advertise themselves, but they’re not doing the most delicate job.

I like microwaving my brain, so I’ve consumed some fitness videos. I haven’t learned much about getting larger (and then smaller, and then larger). But I’ve learned one thing: if you like someone, never click their second channel. It hides every opinion that would tank their first channel. They’ve taken the time to filter their dealbreakers. Why ruin that relationship?

The protein club’s an odd space, and I specialize in odd spaces. I suspect a big factor is that, outside of the PhD crowd, there’s no news. There’s no sequel to the human body coming this fall. Flesh is what it is. Fitness talking heads are stuck in a relationship with nothing to talk about. Only chocolate doesn’t help much.

The Present

Let the 1950’s best expert save your love life.

I was on the 1900HOTDOG podcast! My voice is much weirder than you’d think!

A study of bias and line drives.

Because there weren't any apes in Symbionic Titan.

Everything Abridged is the book other books fear.

The Past

Scorpion vs Frog: the ultimate grudge match.

The Future

I thought outside the box. That’ll be a pun in a week.

Not Brought to You By

Super Bowl ads! They’re less like the gridiron, and more like MXC. Think prom night: the pressure does not inspire peak performance.

Ally Bank went meta this year. Which is, itself, played out. Their video stars a large, literal savings bucket.

For things you see in Super Bowl ads.

Get it?

Then they ask for interaction, which is always a long pass. Ally wants to know what you’re saving for. Just tweet them at—

Oh.

Look. You’re not going to that website. I’m not going to that website. I’m writing about this ad in my professional newsletter, and I’m not bothering. Why ask?

This spot’s not terrible, especially after our war criminal marathon. It just barely exists.

Creativity: C-
Persuasion: D+
Sanity: B-

One Sentence Reviews

[Spoilers]: The next column’s nuts. (0.5/5)

3Teeth - ENDEX: Very much a singles effort. (2.5/5)

Savage Circus: Placebo Guardian. (3/5)

The Big Lebowski: Still hits. (4/5)

Open Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter passing notes in class. Share it to read it out loud.

-DD