Extra Evil - Boxing the Mirror

Today’s Fortune: Tomorrow's like today, but hotter.

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Newsreel

Kevin McCarthy crushed longtime rival Kevin McCarthy.

Space junk is obscuring junk in space.

In Haiti, Kenya took responsibility for invading in 1915, supporting one dictatorship, and blockading sequel dictatorships. Wait—

India ejected Canadian diplomats, birthday invitations, and friendship bracelets.

Microsoft accused Google of biting.

The Nobel Prize freed three chemists from ever touching another paper.

Today's Mood

I slept through something on campus today. Whatever it was, the aftermath looks nice:

I’m still not opening University mail.

War Journal

Past Dennard thinks Present Dennard is a punk for skipping his Dianne Feinstein joke.

Everyone advertises. That’s natural, at least in our system. Everyone competes. Also natural, given our love of Thunderdomes. But one ad rivalry fixates me.

The League, Hinge, Tinder, and OkCupid jostle for subway space, with identical campaigns. Arch quips, trendy couples, bright colors. Again, natural. They’re also all owned by the same company, making this the largest, longest, shadowboxing session I’ve ever seen.

That is nuts.

Pepsi vs. Coke is a natural media arms race. But we’re watching Diet Coke say Coke sucks, and then Coke Zero runs in with a steel chair. I’m sure it works, but it also makes me feel insane. I’m not ready for post-modern monopoly branding. We’re entering the brand Spider-Verse. Which was already a brand.

I might do a full article about this later. For now: help.

I assumed patience came with age. Nope. My brain still makes toddlers look zen.

It’s a genuine maturity issue—everyone’s waiting for something. I’d riff about training montages, but those are compressed. Life’s closer to The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, where the training is just the film.

That’s an amazing movie. To watch. Participating has me loopy this week.

Naturally, it’s 100% self inflicted. I knew publishing takes time. Along with ego lifting, cursing in a new language, landing on the board, and sprinting to nowhere. I manually chose all of it. But I want my Christmas gifts now.

Maybe I’ll get in trouble. That’s instant.

PSA: The obliquely named “Candy Bar” Halo Top flavor is Snickers. Use this data as you will.

The Present

My duel to the death with British reality TV continues.

I had one of those birthdays I've heard so much about.

Along with a Newgrounds nostalgia romp.

The university president needs a new boat.

Buying Everything Abridged holds back chaos.

The Past

This New Yorker bit led to a super-secret project.

The Future

I’m listening to a lot of the New Vegas soundtrack during revision. Hopefully something carries over.

A draft’s been called “Good but enormously depressing.” Perfect.

Not Brought to You By

Fun line. Though Camels make walking a mile a bit harder.

The manly-cigarette arms race wasn’t born with Marlboro. They just pushed it past parody. Here, it comfortably occupies parody instead.

Amran suggested weekly ad chatter, and I dug the idea. I just felt torn on where to start. But jingoism and nicotine are 2/3rds of our national spirit. We’ll hit sex later, I hear it sells.

Creativity: D-
Persuasion: D
Sanity: C

One Sentence Reviews

Comic Book Plus: Endless retro comic book madness. (5/5)

Digital Comics Museum: Endless retro comic book madness, with an ancient interface. (4.5/5)

Samurai Jack, Season 6: I can let the last bit go. (4.5/5)

Bill Burr - Live at the Troubadour 2: The best podcast ad I’ve seen. (4/5)

Open Question

Signing off

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-DD