19 Comments

Man don't make me choose between being an elitist and performative environmentalism. I pick OmniBrand Green, this time.

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I had to know if you were one of the *best* performative environmentalists.

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I'd argue I'm more "manly" than the guy in that Camel ad. Cigarettes were sexy for a long time, though. I tried one once in college and was terrified by how cool I felt doing it. Never again.

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You've definitely lapped him. There's a particular desperation behind a smoking soldier mascot that's hard to top.

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Coke vs Pepsi. You reminded me of the 1970s ads. I remember when coke was just coke and had actual sugar in it. They do that for the Europeans. We get corn syrup now.

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There's also the sugar-free laboratory edition! It's great weed-killer.

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Great idea! I’ll pour it on the poisonous mushrooms growing in my yard.

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I pick rebel even though I'm one of those people who actually followed the COVID-era one way markings in it supermarket aisles.

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Those were great. Everyone ignoring them made masks the compromise position.

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Did you write anything for the Ukrainian veteran in Canadian parliament? That's the funniest news story I've read in a long time.

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Sometimes you can hear the Peepshow soundtrack play over reality.

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Also reading your diet zero regular Coke thoughts I thought about how I think about this all the time and I should write a whole story and then you wrote...maybe we could swap or collab.

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Sounds like a good time to me.

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“Past Dennard thinks Present Dennard is a punk for skipping his Dianne Feinstein joke.” Okay this has me lol in the waiting room at the doctors office.

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That effect is my entire mission statement.

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Loving the new ad section! An inspired start.

That intra-dating app deathmatch piece sounds like magic.

A Civil War satire depressing? Who'd have thought.

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I think the article will happen, I just need to steel myself for staring down infinite funhouse reflections.

That note’s for another project! Sleep and I don’t play well together.

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Oh, I wondered! You're too prolific for your own good. The Sleep Gods appreciate your sacrifice.

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fuck gotta luv bill burr!!

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