Extra Evil: Burning House Fire Sale

Today’s Fortune: If you need a counselor, you need a lawyer.

Newsreel

The FBI joined your Thanksgiving argument.

Standards polled poorly with Liz Cheney’s district.

The Taliban aren’t ideal administrators.

Tulsi Gabbard reached her final form.

The CDC review of the CDC revealed low self-esteem.

A movie about Idris Elba fighting a lion is coming out.

War Journal

Much more of this job is waiting than I expected. Waiting for feedback, waiting for release dates, waiting for automatic updates to deign to let me work. It’s all me and Godot.

Waiting’s also my weakness. If knife-juggling replaced waiting, I’d be happier, further ahead, and less tense.

The situation might change soon. But I have to wait for it.

Do we have a plan to defend the coal thing to your grandkids? They might eat us without a decent alibi. Let’s get a few copywriters on that.

Dating is.

When I started breaking, I decided to bee-line for the move that sounded the most like a Final Fantasy attack. Which is why, to date, Darkhammers are my best trick. I need a thoroughly uncool reason to learn anything cool.

The skate equivalent will take years. But “Hospital Flip” and “Broken Fingers” are real names of real maneuvers. That’s aspirational. I’d never have to explain an injury again.

“I was practicing hospital flips at Union Square, when…yeah, six months and the doctor says my neck should face forward again. Here’s hoping.”

Get this: Jack Kirby invented teen rom-com comic books. “My Date,” by the man that revolutionized American punching, is the genetic ancestor to every Archie series.

I met Salman Rushdie six years ago. He arrived with an entourage of three-model types. Someone smarter might have asked for writing advice. Instead, I tried to outdrink him and failed. Keep the age gap and my half-distillery heart in mind. That, as much as dodging the reaper, made him a hero.

The Present

My book has answers to the questions.

I did some fun navel-gazing in this very newsletter.

People like this silly Twitter thread about Beast.

Get your nitrate powder on in my 1-900-HOTDOG column.

Me vs. the Founding Fathers in The New Yorker.

The Past

This interview has all my worthwhile thoughts.

The Future

I wrote something I love. We’ll see if it finds a home.

I remember “How 2 Rite Gud,” the second half goes up soon.

Sam may deign to record an episode of Weeaboo Hell this weekend.

The next book has an outline, I just need to fill it.

One-Sentence Reviews

The Ravages of Time (First 100 Chapters): Proof a work can feel masterful and janky at the same time. (4/5)

City Girl - C-Girl: Not all guest vocals are born equal. (3/5)

Lupe Fiasco - Drill Music in Zion: I love being pandered to. (4.5/5)

The Aeneid: I underestimated how far Achilles’ demented lunacy carried The Iliad. (3.5/5)

Open Question

Signing Off

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