Extra Evil - Burnout Paradise
Extra Evil - Burnout Paradise
Today’s Fortune: It was Professor Plum with the wrench in the dining room.
Newsreel
Fast fashion added flair to environmental collapse.
Two cancel culture editorials wrestled for supremacy.
The rest of the market joined Netflix.
There's more evidence for the coup attempt than gravity.
Most Americans worked through the end of forced labor.
Texas attacked Fort Sumter.
War Journal
I won't admit it in public, but perspective counts. Last week, I felt like swan-diving into magma. Now I'm energized, despite doing the same things in the same space.
This week's title recalls a game three people alive remember. Not just because I enjoyed it, but because it matches the transition. I was wrung out, and now I'm floating. I'm sure that's psychologically and neurologically normal, and bears no further exploration.
Until the wheel turns again. But we'll deal with that when we get there.
I announced this in an earlier newsletter, jumping the gun by at least two weeks: I'm officially a 1-900-HOTDOG monthly columnist.
Enjoy the header art, which makes me grin from ear to ear:
The artist shrank my triceps a little, but amazing otherwise.
This week, I received some of the first fan and hate mail of my life. I've gotten plenty of messages in the past, but this is the first time the masses tracked down my email. It's nice to see. Either my reach is increasing, or I'm evoking a stronger response.
Weeaboo Hell is back. To make a long story short, Sam had to swordfight a corporation, I got published/arrested, and we both drink often.
The Present
Let's start positive, with my first official 1-900-HOTDOG column.
Let's stay positive with Everything Abridged, my book. If you like me enough to read this, you should try it.
Let's stomp on that positivity with Weeaboo Hell. The Uzumakiad continues.
Now bring that positivity back: I’m on The Doggzone podcast.
Let's profile and armbar that positivity: I got arrested in May. Here's my New Yorker writeup about that.
I also put out this bonus feature on the newsletter, just for you.
The Past
This replacement theory modest proposal has been on my mind.
The Future
Lots of flooding, I assume.
Next month's 1-900-HOTDOG column has a beginning and a finale. I just need to handle all that boring stuff in the middle.
One Sentence Reviews
Version Control: Left me with an intentional depressed headache. (4.5/5)
Space Bastards (Vol. 2): More rushed than Usain Bolt, but still itself. (3.5/5)
Real Time with Bill Maher (Current Season): It was never good, but now it's subterranean. (2/5)
Last Week Tonight (Current Season): Now this panders to my views. (4/5)
Powerblock Elite: A godsend that costs an unjustifiable amount of money. (3.5/5)
The Visitors: My friend wrote it, and it is thus perfection itself. (6/5)
Open Question
What country would you move to, given the chance? Asking for a friend.
Signing off
Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter that speaks in tongues. Share it to save my smile.
-DD
First, I want to build on all the positivity. Locally, I'm pleased to report that we're almost done counting votes in Los Angeles (traffic is bad and math ain't our thing), but it's safe to say that Karen Bass got way more votes than Mall King Rick Caruso. There's still a runoff in November, but the Mall King is on the ropes.
Second, I got your book! I would've gotten it the day it came out, but I opted for the audio version, which was delayed by a few weeks. Anyway, I'm looking forward to listening and giggling in public.
OK, your question is where things turn negative because the idea of leaving the U.S. makes me think that my worst nightmares have come true and that I need to flee a fascist state with nukes. I used to say Canada, but then I listened to the Robert Evans podcast, It Could Happen Here, and I realized that whatever hell America belches out will land pretty heavy on our neighbors to the north. Best case scenario, we're a failed state and the Canadians are like, "Get all these damn Americans out of here." Worst case scenario, we go full fascist and invade Canada. I don't want to be around for either scenario. Plus, most people say Canada, which is why it won't work. My escape plan is Uruguay. Few people outside of Uruguay know that Uruguay exists, and those who do know Uruguay exists often have trouble spelling it. Uruguay is a democracy (unusual in both North and South America!) that's legalized weed, same-sex marriage, and abortion. I only plan to avail myself of the weed, but I like to know that I'm getting high around people who have rights, otherwise I get paranoid. So yeah, Uruguay. Pass it on. But don't spread the word too wide.
Sure it wasn't Col. Mustard in the kitchen with butter knife? Nice round up. ;)