Extra Evil - Executive Poverty

Today’s Fortune: Every month has ides.

---

Newsreel

I’m impressed they both survived.

Macron didn’t have a plan.

Kenyan protestors interrogated themselves.

The Court decided Nixon was right.

Federal agencies were demoted to social clubs.

Humans likely wiped out large, delicious mammals.

Today's Mood

War Journal

As a professional lunatic archivist, ragebait’s rise feels personal. Be kind. For some of us, public breakdowns are culture. What happened to respect?

You’re stealing time from clowns. We have families. Nothing’s sadder than getting a hot tip from a trusted source, and finding a desperate normal with a “kick me” sign. Except everything in the news. And most of what I see outside. Things are tense.

One could argue that it’s wrong exploit human delirium in the first place. But if something were wrong, why would it be profitab—oh. Oh no.

My next tattoo? Plain sans-serif text, on my right arm. It’ll say:

“You are one human. Do not buy a frozen pizza. You don’t want a whole frozen pizza. You don’t want to reheat half a pizza. You aren’t dragging a date two boroughs over to eat a frozen pizza. Frozen pizza is for families of four. Buy a bagel.”

Divine right! That’s fun.

I fell for the pundit’s trap: overconfidence. I spilled all this ink fretting over fasces or anarchy, when the crown was right there.

A king enjoys his chair by God’s will. Mortal law? Mortal age? Quibbles. The chair is his.

I’d complain, but vassalage could be the opening I’ve waited for. Lord knows wages haven’t worked out.

The Present

I’m so close to finally breaching hell I can taste it. [1900HOTDOG]

I considered sending this twice as a gag. [Exclusive Evil]

Next time I cover an insane revenge guide, I'll give the best prank an award.[1900HOTDOG]

I'd joke about a sequel to this trash, but there are two. [1900HOTDOG]

Everything Abridged is my herald. [My Book]

The Past

My campus satire used to be nicer.

The Future

I’m moving to space. But first, guest appearances in some surprise spaces. And a column I’ve sat on for a bit.

Not Brought to You By

Dating app ads are an unrivaled chain of burning money. So it’s nice to see one rise to mediocrity. A smirk, even.

Archer claims to take security/comfort a little more seriously than other gay dating apps. Hence this angle:

Brilliant? Nah. But it’s not half-assed trolling, full-assed pandering, or flat vacuity. It’s focused, and clever enough for human conversation. Good for them.

Creativity: C
Persuasion: D+
Sanity: B-

One Sentence Reviews

Lupe Fiasco - Samurai: Someone doing what they want, how they want. (4/5)

Artechouse: A classic Manhattan money furnace. (2/5)

Kagurabachi: A lab-grown hybrid between the inspired and generic. (3/5)

Paris is Burning: Compelling enough to overlook broken AC. (4.5/5)

The Boys, Season 4 (First Third): A rant made for me. (4/5)

Open Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter still in the race. Share it to mumble.