Extra Evil – No Personal Growth Allowed

Today’s Fortune: Don’t post that.

Newsreel

Bunker demand beat supply.

Chris Cuomo met Bill O’Reilly’s lawyers.

The threat of self-inflicted Armageddon restored a global sense of normalcy.

A Navy engineer updated the Rosenberg trial for modern audiences.

Mandates are easing, just in time to skip your reunion anyway.

The Enron NFTs look interesting.

War Journal

I’m in open-hearted, wide-eyed love with the game Sifu. It’s the best love letter to empty-hand violence since The Raid. It’s also a valuable reminder that fist-fighting five adults at once would be a little difficult.

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I’ve also been reading, but you expect that. I miss middle school, when I got a glow-in-the-dark sticker for reading more than the other children. Now I just get glares at funerals.

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I stand perched above Lindt, watching the wreckage of Valentine’s Day shelves. Waiting for the annual post-holiday chocolate sale that gets me through the winter.

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I haven’t spent much time with the holiday proper. I usually break up before winter, so that I can keep more of the blanket for myself. That sounds like a petty reason for divorce, but it’s better than calling my partner a white supremacist and threatening to fight extras from Suicide Squad.

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Teaching’s interesting. My instincts, lawyer, and contract say not to go into much more public detail, so I’ll leave it at “I like it thus far.”

The Present

I don’t know why the New Yorker let me get away with this, but they did.

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I know exactly why McSweeney’s let me get away with this.

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The Weeaboo Hell hiatus continues. I know it’s hard to live without my “overeducated Chris Tucker” voice, but try to hold on.

 The Past

Let’s flash back to the king of plastic holidays.

The Future

Everything Abridged will be in human hands on April 26th. You’ll feel lighter. Spiritually stronger. Closer to God’s light. Odd, considering my heathen status.

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Fun, relatively big release in about a week. I think I signed papers saying they can break my legs if I say anything more specific.

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The book ban posters have a chance of survival. Pray for it on my behalf.

One Sentence Reviews

Sapphira and the Slave Girl: Who knew that human bondage could be boring? (2.5/5)

The Lonely Londoners: A snapshot of the self-destructive Jamaican spirit that I carry on to this day. (4.5/5)

Sifu: Finally, a game that hits back. (5/5)

Line Goes Up – The Problem With NFTs: The only YouTube video above six minutes I didn’t regret watching in some time. (4.5/5)

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter that will avenge its master.

-DD