Extra Evil - Pride Lags Behind a Fall

Today’s Fortune: One more sequel can't hurt.

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Newsreel

Conflicts outnumbered attention spans.

A Greek mob boss retired the mob way.

The mock primary club took a field trip to Iowa.

The moon mission’s delayed until NASA knows there’ll be a planet to return to.

Dust off your shutdown jokes.

A rhesus monkey clone may change mascara tests forever.

Today's Mood

War Journal

A new semester! Wish me luck. Teaching’s fine, my train’s just derailed twice in a week.

On that last headline: we’ve cloned monkeys before, but rhesus monkeys are research favorites. The clone’s called Retro, which should give future study halls an identical laugh.

Naturally, my imagination drifts to human clones. Not the real, thorny questions smart people have. The cartoon version of cloning, where a twin with a different haircut pops out of a pod.

For egoists, it’d be a miracle. Bigger than your holy book of choice. A solution to the Narcissist’s Dilemma: “Why mix you and me, when we could have extra me?”

History robbed my dad. He’d have thrived with clones. His main problem is the eight billion other people floating around. In Bert, NC with a few hundred junior Berts, he’d have a shot at heaven.

My point? Live on to see how crazy things get. We may have entire towns populated by one narcissist before 2050.

After dodging laundry jokes for decades, I’m stuck with a pile of shrunken hackwork. It’s much worse for my pride than my wallet. Maybe I’ll burn the evidence, and go down as a clever nudist instead.

GameStop gets a flick, but the crypto fever dream doesn’t? Are we too embarrassed as a species? Are producers waiting for their apes to recover? Someone should cash in before the next gambling craze hits.

The Present

I decided my D&D flashback needed the guide to Evil.

Games with this book must have been wild.

I could have replayed Cyberpunk a third time instead of this.

All getting stronger takes is sleep, dedication, and eating the weak.

Everything Abridged is a blueprint for tomorrow. Just not a great tomorrow.

The Past

Here’s the most important question I’ve ever asked.

The Future

There is no light, sound, or sleep in the editorial place. Only keystrokes. I think you’ll dig this book, so my ego says it’s worth it.

I’m honestly split on the next column. I’ll let the humor gods decide.

Not Brought to You By

Normal, sane people share one thought: what’s missile factory branding like?

Public branding, specifically. Generals and senators get glossy PowerPoints with slick-ish concepts, presented by borderline cyborgs in tight suits. Similar to doctor-directed pharma campaigns, but somehow worse. I’m more interested in the damage control intended for you, me, and skittish shareholders.

I’ll break these up across a few weeks. Today I looked at some public-facing video from RTX (Raytheon, not the graphics card). They are—especially compared to some of the ones I’ll hit later—uniquely evasive.

Which questions? The ones you like.

“Problems.” “Solutions.” “Innovation.” Specificity’s the enemy at RTX. And that might be a decent approach. Given the question is “Why allow” and the problem is “human life.”

In short, RTX follows zombie movie rules. You can’t say zombie, and you can’t say cluster bomb.

Creativity: D-
Persuasion: D
Sanity: C+

One Sentence Reviews

Marihuana (1936 Film): The character-driven Reefer Madness. (Weed/5)

The Matrix Resurrections: Self-conscious franchise decay isn’t better. (Why?/5)

Jenny Tian - Picture This: Pleasant throwback. (3/5)

Open Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter betting it all. Share it to collect.

-DD