Extra Evil - Spectator Divorce

Today’s Fortune: Your worst enemy just missed their train.

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Newsreel

Pundits covered Chinese unemployment like V-E Day.

Maui resorts didn’t let a few dozen funerals get in the way.

Analysts fear an Ethiopian civil war may break out last year.

The UK found three lame spies without steel teeth or killer hats.

Somehow, I missed the rise and fall of a global pangolin smuggling ring.

Have you heard about that trial?

Today's Mood

War Journal

I think today’s your day.

I’ll be knocked out while the sun’s up, thanks to a deadline storm. But I like the results, and maybe that matters more. Unless you’re my doctor, and currently screaming.

While my brain’s a decade past cooperating, working on a language is infinitely smoother without grade deflation hovering overhead. You’d think Princeton couldn’t ruin nerding out, but never underestimate the Illuminati.

Comedy, fiction, and advertising share one thing: normalized addiction. And stock jokes. Each clique fines you for old material, real or imagined. So three voices in my head have the same thought.

From open mics to subway ads, topical angles are tough. There are a thousand rabbits sprinting in each direction. It’s hard to know what’ll really resonate with people or your creative spark. To say nothing of pleasing both. Option paralysis is natural and forgivable.

Then there’s the opposite problem. Sometimes, everyone chases one rabbit. A celebrity divorce. New nouns. Candy-shaped detergent. An ex-president. Every clown in sight converges on a single point.

You don’t have to chase that rabbit.

I’m not saying don’t chase the rabbit, though people smarter than me believe that. If you wake up spry and inspired with a fresh hare-slaying strategy, go ahead. If you have a pure and personal hatred for the rabbit, charge in. If you’re on a weekly sketch show, it is what it is.

Just remember, it’s competitive. Rabbit content’s graded on an Organic Chemistry curve. Princeton’s ditched grade deflation, but Trump jokes haven’t.

After sitting by another R train breakup, I have to admit: it has the best flavor of drama so far. 1 train breakups either had a bitter Fleishman is in Trouble flavor, or threatened to spiral into violence. The same went for the Q, but further from each extreme. The R sticks to Bravo primetime rules: pointing, recrimination, and allusions to vague transgressions. Drama Classic, with no frills.

My earbuds, on the other hand, suck.

The Present

I wrote about Martian paradise.

My latest at 1-900-HOTDOG features more groin electrocution than anything else I've written.

Pretty-please read my tilt at Jane Ratcliffe’s excellent questionnaire.

I played Russian roulette with employment.

Today, you need Everything Abridged. Tomorrow, you need How to Dodge a Cannonball.

The Past

Ever get tired of living in a gun club?

The Future

I’ve got a wild bonus coming this Friday, alongside

Field Research

. Strap in.

I started a project you should see…sometime this millennium. But it’s a fun one.

One Sentence Reviews

Versus: The purest form of thirteen-year-old glee. (4.5/5)

Liz Miele - Emotionally Exhausting: Familiar prompts, new landings. (3.5/5)

Jackie Kaishan - Stay-Kashian: Much better than the title implies. (4/5)

OMNY Support - Powering more turnstile-jumps than gym class. (0/5)

Nevermore - Enemies of Reality: The title track needs to be crowbarred out of my head. (4.5/5)

Open Question

Signing off

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-DD