Extra Evil - Splash Mountain

Today’s Fortune: Stay out of the lazy river.

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Newsreel

Rough week for civilian water fans.

Great week for defendants-turned-strongmen.

Rough week for rainforest rivers.

Great week for vertical monopolies.

Rough week for ambitious klansmen.

Great week for opponents of groundwater.

Today's Mood

War Journal

An eclipse is a marvel. Unless you’re into fantasy or history, and there’s extra gunpowder in the air. Then it’s tense. Maybe we’re lucky, and it’s just the darksign.

I forgot Comic-Con until Saturday night. A trio of deadlines (one planned, one surprise, and one cockup) kept me in Word until the sun and moon switched, merged, and switched again. Normal for my sleep cycle, but there’s usually a few minutes of joysticks and superkicks.

I haven’t been in eight years. Cons are malls lined with press releases, but the trick is making them feel like community events. I’ll play along for some endorphins. Just make it easy. Help me help you retire. Comic-Con lost that thread.

Still, I’m almost out of good bboy Spider-Man years months. I’ve ribbed that tendency from a position of pure envy. Attention and morphsuits are two of my favorite nouns.

Maybe next year I’ll grab a Friday ticket instead of food. Unless I’ve been drafted.

Are you flexible? I’m trying to get there. I’d like to do a split, or back walkover, or write off mass starvation. My moral bridge sucks.

If you’re connected to a hotel in/near NYC that might be open to a brief shoot, drop me a line. Shoot as in video, not a drive-by. Every gang I auditioned for turned me down.

I inherited a small basil plant from my cream cheese fixation. The sandwich was great. The plant is my most dismal failure since that one wedding.

This isn’t a difficult life form to care for. As the leaves get darker than the dirt, I wonder how many days a kid would last. They seem harder.

The Present

Brighten your day with a fundamentalist sex manual.

Meet the press.

Ever caught a cryptid? No? Then you’re perfect for our contest.

When there’s no room left in hell, reality hosts will walk the Earth.

Everything Abridged has premium words.

The Past

Some nice job openings for your toddler.

The Future

The next 1900HOTDOG column’s lighter, to balance out my everything else.

Don’t go mad before the 29th. I’m teaming up with Amran and Michael for some fun.

Not Brought to You By

Once again, our feature needs color to land. There’s a lesson in that somewhere, but I have design cataracts.

This poster’s from Eugene McCarthy’s tilt at the presidency. He ran on the premise that flattening Da Nang was questionable, which plays better today. History would have more friends if it were less judgey.

Political branding’s funny: there’s nothing new here. There’s no twist on the idea: it’s the bird of peace, above the word peace.

But it didn’t have to be anything else. If you think sex sells, try peace.

Creativity: C
Persuasion: B
Sanity: A

One Sentence Reviews

All Hell - All Hail the Night: No surprises. (3/5)

Andy Hynes - The Coward of Gramercy: The usual. (3/5)

Joe Pera - Slow and Steady: Something different. (4/5)

Thunderbolt Fantasy: Bewitching Melody of the West: I may be addicted. (4.5/5)

Open Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter doing a cannonball. Share to drain the pool.

-DD