Exclusive Evil - Sanitation Gets Based

Bonus article! A touch too ribald for the Olde Jerseyman. I hope you enjoy the flavor. If so, spread it to your kin/blood enemies.

Federal agencies have taken a fresh, ribald tone on X. Recently, the Dallas sanitation department followed suit.

Hey Groypers! While ICE takes out the trash, we'll take out white trash.

 Sorry, we meant white people's trash. We'd never use a slur like white trash.

 Sorry again! Slurs are great, we didn't mean to offend anyone.

 Third sorry! Offending people rocks. Shame belongs in El Salvador.

 Quads! As in our fourth apology. No one's been punitively shipped to El Salvador, that'd be nuts.

 Back to business. What's your favorite Sydney Sweeney ad?

 When you throw out batteries, aim for a protester.

 Post trash that looks like Kamala.

 Stop separating plastic, this isn't Europe.

 Sorry. Being European is good, but acting European is bad. Quints!

 Please calm down. Kidding! Snowflakes don't work in sanitation.

 Sorry, under DEI, some snowflakes drove trucks and warmed desks. But not anymore! Wink.

 We fired them.

 Time for some merit-based funposting.

 Just chuck that can out the window. Who cares?

 We love recycling! Textbooks, novels, woke amendments...

 Like this to send Mexico’s garbage back.

 Quit deepfaking the city manager. She's based like you, and deserves better.

 Sorry, no she doesn't. Nobody deserves anything just for being a foid.

 That'll show her. About time I got a raise, anyway.

 Sorry! That's socialism. I’ll take a pay cut, just to stay based.

 Doxxing copywriters is unbased. You're canceling me, like a Dixie Chick.

 Like a Dixie Chick would. They were wrong. Sorry in advance!

 Guys, it's not an email job. It's a Twitter job. Very different.

 Back to work. If you need to throw out any black mermaids, we’re here to help.

 National Park? Or local trashcan?

 Retweet this if Barcelona would make a good landfill.

 If someone throws trash from their car, give them a thumbs up.

 Nice pics of me in Gestapo gear! I look great.

 I look less good in nothing. Please stop.

 ...using my bad side, that is! Here's some better angles for goonfuel.

We cool?

Why make the guy black? Deepfake Equity Inclusion?

Please stop making photos of my sister.

Kara didn't like me taking this job. She doesn't get any of this. What we're building.

Come on.

I'm starting to think that they are involved. Know what I mean?

Apologies. The Dallas Department of Sanitation's bond with Israel is sacred and unwavering.

From now on, we just post trash. Here’s a picture of Malcolm X.

Broke: Planting trees. Woke: planting trash.

Runoff has to go somewhere. Factories don't care about your feelings.

A dumpster's more of a state of mind.

Post trash that looks like Obama.

Based news: the city just killed sanitation funding. Finally.

I mean, collecting everyone's trash? How woke can you get?

For a social media manager that can take anything, reach out to ClarissaC@nyu.edu.

Thanks, as always, for reading. Attention is my lifeblood.

I also have a perfect book called How to Dodge a Cannonball. Read it to save your mind. There's also a special/suicidal tour: