Exclusive Evil - The Debate, SUNY Albany Tuesday

This Tuesday, The New York State Writer's Institute is generously hosting me, and asking questions about my strange book. If you're nearby, reward their courage by coming through.

Also: have a bonus humor piece. It's about...nevermind, you'll get it.

Dr. Snow: No.

Walton-Hearst: See? Her mind’s closed, like her heart.

V-Rock: Hold on, intros first. Then you can yell.

Walton-Hearst: Sorry, I’m just passionate about our children. They’re diseased little freaks, and we need to fix them.

Dr. Snow: Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

V-Rock: Welcome to Sharpshooter, where debate’s on target. Today’s guests are Dr. Yvonne Snow, director of the Princeton Neuroscience Institute, and Nina Walton-Hearst, founder of the Healthy Families think tank and Instagram page.

Walton-Hearst: Advocacy tank and Reels movement.

V-Rock: Bet. I’m your host, Vinny Rock, aka V-Rock, here to help America find common ground. It’s my passion on Mondays. On Tuesdays, I do Power Slap recaps. What’s good, ladies?

Dr. Snow: Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

Walton-Hearst: I hear you. It’s more the absence of mercury causing autism.

V-Rock: Great energy! But first: any plugs?

Walton-Hearst: Just one book this time. The Silver Gift tells the story of two girls saved by one cup of liquid metal. It follows up on the themes of The Silver Miracle.

V-Rock: Dope title. Doc?

Dr. Snow: Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

V-Rock: First, for laymen like myself: what’s autism?

Dr. Snow: A neurodevelopmental condition mercury doesn’t prevent.

Walton-Hearst: Mercury deficiency.

V-Rock: Wow! There's a lot to this. What drew you both to this topic?

Dr. Snow: Mercury’s inability to prevent autism.

Walton-Hearst: I’ve fought autism my entire year. That journey showed me parents around America, and their broken children. I want to unbreak them with mercury. I brought some, if you want to try it.

V-Rock: Later. Now, I know my pills. What’s mercury’s proposed method of action?

Dr. Snow: Insanity followed by death.

Walton-Hearst: It’s really something! Mercury blocks black bile receptors, making room for good spirits in the gut. Early, priest-directed mercury therapy could end Warhammer tournaments in our time.

Dr. Snow: Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

Walton-Hearst: Of course not. It pre-cures autism.

V-Rock: Brain experiment. What would make you change your opinion?

Dr. Snow: Opinion isn’t involved. Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

Walton-Hearst: I don’t think those words go together.

V-Rock: Walk with V-Rock. You’re both influencers of reason. Something has to be enough.

Walton-Hearst: You’re right. I have a responsibility to my followers. If new star signs emerged, I’d adapt to the evidence.

V-Rock: Dr. Snow? What evidence, in theory, would convince you that mercury—

Dr. Snow: Prevents autism? None. Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

V-Rock: —has an effect on ASD?

Dr. Snow: Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

Walton-Hearst: No logic. It’s a religion with them.

V-Rock: You can yell, but no insults. We’re healing America with two valid viewpoints.

Walton-Hearst: Sorry.

Dr. Snow: You’re enabling mass psychosis. Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

V-Rock: I just said to stop insulting each other.

Dr. Snow: I meant you. You’re an asylum referee, promoting collective suicide. Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

V-Rock: Oh! Nice, much better. Say whatever about me, it’s good buzz. Ready for viewer questions?

Walton-Hearst: Absolutely. The people deserve to be heard.

Dr. Snow: Fine. But Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

V-Rock: This superchat’s from YogurtVonnegut. “Doesn’t mercury kill you?”

Dr. Snow: Yes. Without preventing autism.

Walton-Hearst: Common misconception, thanks to faulty study design. Everyone in mercury studies is dead or insane, which distorts health outcomes. We need more mercury research with sane, breathing people.

V-Rock: Yeah, studying’s hard. This next superchat’s for Nina. ElSantosTrapHouse asks “Aren’t you involved in mercury extraction?”

Walton-Hearst: Nope.

V-Rock: You don’t own NMI?

Walton-Hearst: Nope. What’s that?

V-Rock: Chat’s skeptical. You have nothing to do with Nina Mercury International?

Walton-Hearst: I have some shares.

V-Rock: Cool, that’s fair. Any response, Doc? You keep snapping pencils.

Dr. Snow: Mercury doesn’t prevent autism. Nina is the goddess of grifters. Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

Walton-Hearst: Rude. My management style’s very hands off. It’s basically a nonprofit.

V-Rock: Here’s one for Doc. 3PacShakur asks “How much tuna do I need to avoid autism?

Dr. Snow: Tuna contains high-quality protein and fatty acids useful for athletics, bodybuilding, and general health. With trace amounts of mercury. Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

Walton-Hearst: Protein kills your muscles. It makes them complacent. You want your muscles hungry, like an intern.

V-Rock: Man, I’ve been doing it all wrong. Gold Patreon backer GrassyKnollMole asks: “Can a corpse have autism?”

Walton-Hearst: I’ll defer to the doctor.

Dr. Snow: Mercury doesn’t prevent autism.

V-Rock: He pays us fifty a month. Yes or no, doc.

Dr. Snow: No.

V-Rock: “And mercury kills you, right?”

Dr. Snow: Yes.

V-Rock: New superchat! “So Mercury kills the autism then, right?”

Dr. Snow: Do what you want. My brother runs a funeral home. Who am I to deny his dreams?

Walton-Hearst: Brilliant! GrassyKnollMole’s cracked it. Mercury doesn’t prevent or pre-cure autism. It cures it, outright.

Dr. Snow: This is the age of sorrows.

V-Rock: That’s time! Thanks for coming through so last minute. Paltrow ghosted us, and Fauci’s in hiding.

Walton-Hearst: Check out my next book, From the Darkness, about what mercury can do for your eyes. It cures blindness.

Dr. Snow: And mine, Life After Loss: Coping with Mercury-Poisoned Loved Ones. I just thought of it. Profiteering’s more fun than I thought.

You finished! On a Sunday! You're pretty good at this. Again, I'm over at SUNY Albany on Tuesday, tempting arrest in an exciting new location. Would love to see you there.