Extra Evil - Cosmic Lottery
Today's Fortune: Commutes are new music showcases.
Newsreel
Congress leapt forward.
Breaking: Zohran hexed your crops.
Iran counterattacked painters and schoolteachers.
This month's autocrat hot mic came from Bangladesh.
Putin's too old for subtle executions.
Flooding's declined if you flip the graph.
You Need This
Soon. Soon. Soon.
A Photo
War Journal
Do you have a weakness? I have seven or so. My poker face is in the top three, and may not even exist. Leading to an awkward encounter mid-commute.
See, Columbia's still locked down like a bank vault. Scratch that–banks aim for a cozy vibe. Rich customers and all that. Columbia's locked down like a gulag.
Naturally, among the guards, you run into the same faces a few times. I recognized today's stooge, and gave a friendly smile. I assumed.
"It's just my job, man."
With my face gone rogue, the world looked smaller. My acting career, gone. My spy career, over. One day in Vegas would wipe my life savings.
Anyway, I stay out of punchier bars. Why invite the headline?
I never thought I'd wish people were still addicted to TV.
Overheard on Planet Coffee:
Blue: Why do you think dudes cheat?
Red: Want another coffee? Should I get in line?
Blue: I don't get it.
Red: Oh yeah, I need another coffee.
Blue: I really tried.
Red: Coffee. Coffee time.
There are diseases from the 1800s more helpful than tariffs.
If I could edit human behavior...okay, world peace and all that. But after that and before making myself God-Emperor, I'd do a funny thing.
I'd make food enthusiasts as protective of their hobby as black metal fans. Imagine every foodie tag leading to an avalanche of old-school kvlt invective.
A Screenshot
The Present
- I hear this book's pretty funny. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- Digging even closer to hell than usual. [1900HOTDOG]
- Sullivan Summer helped me sound like an adult. [New Books Network]
- Spoilertown with Summer Sullivan. [Sullivan Summer Substack]
- The cover gets some well-earned love. [Lithub]
- [I wrote a book in the future too. During my past. Very confusing sentence. [My Previous Book]
The Past
WWE tilted their own version of Punkd. It didn't work out.
The Future
Nothing too crazy for a week or two, until the class routine sets in.
Dead Sun Theory
Winner #3, pcpetepete, threw a killer fastball with this prompt:
"AI Missiles."
This angle proves my soul is dead, but the main benefit here isn't savings, efficacy, risk, or even showing off. It's deniability.
Campaign A
Campaign B
A or B?
Not Brought to You By
Right, video exists. I should acknowledge that.
A snowman mascot, for menthol cigarettes. I...see it. Simplest combo in the world, really.
They're cool, he's cool, everyone goes home early. Make him sing, and this ad'll take out more kids than smallpox.
Oh listen to me lady
Listen to me bud
If you wanna be mouth-happy
Then you gotta smoke Spud
Sure, whatever. This is free money. I haven't even read it yet, and I'm sure they couldn't—
Wait.
Alas, the children live on.
Creativity: B+ | Persuasion: Mouth-Happy | Sanity: F
One Sentence Reviews
Beef (Rewatch, Middle Third): Has dude-conversations down to a science. (4.5/5)
CAIN: The kind of high-flavor nonsense I enjoy flipping through in RPG books. (3.5/5)
A Rebel Born - The Screenplay: We can always dig lower. (0/5)
July Swiping: The human weirdness is a feature. (3/5)
The Haunted — Songs of Last Resort: They have loud down to a science. (4/5)
A Question
Signing off
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