Extra Evil - Hegseth's Car
Today's Fortune: In our defense, that school was secretly enriching minds.
Newsreel
Starmer read the room.
New strafings lack that human touch.
Blood's conversion rate with oil sucks.
The market fell closer to reality.
MJF is America's only thriving export.
Courts rejected the FDA's leech policy.
A Photo
Dayle's Charge
The OSU date's out (contact fell through). Which fits a series named after Pickett's charge. Apologies, working a replacement.
Dayle's Charge Survivors still get half off my madness, forever.
War Journal
New wars get a few competing nicknames. Especially since we stopped letting declarations spoil the fun half a century ago. Now it's time to christen a new disgrace.
I have a suggestion. Let's call the firestorm in Iran "Hegseth's Car."
Hear me out. It sounds petty, but captures a lot.
How's Hegseth's car doing?
Should we be in Hegseth's Car?
Where's Hegseth's Car headed?
Does Hegseth's Car make us safer?
Does Hegseth's Car get good mileage?
Should we leave Hegseth's Car?
How many kids has Hegseth's Car killed?
Consider it.
A new Devin Townsend album dawns, so I'll disappear for a bit. One hour, maybe two--I suffer from many of his overproductive diseases. So I'm not immensely shocked to hear he's leaving touring behind. Depressed, but not shocked.
I don't have much career wisdom. As a triple cultist of Devin, Lupe, and early Dave, I do know that burnout cuts deeper than swords. I'm thankful for indulgent editors and agents on that front. Without them, I'd probably have moved to the desert with a Game Boy Color and a typewriter. I might still do that, but for fun.
Lord knows how Stone and Parker ducked it. Maybe simple cursing vents the stress.
I've done half my typing for the month in a spot that runs Baki the Grappler in the background. It works. It seems that Baki's my muse. Delirious punching succeeds where nonsense like love, nation, and music failed. Who knew?
Hey, our school-seeking missiles still work! After all the outsourcing, it's good to see American know-how back in the field. Such a familiar crater. If you see anything else during the national anthem, we're different people.
Overheard in Coffee Kumite.
On Shift: The way they're raised is crazy. The parents say "I didn't have any parental instincts, so I just did what I saw on TV."
On Break: The Barrymores...Drew Barrymore...they were like that.
On Shift: Yeah? How?
On Break: I saw a documentary...an interview...60 minutes. She was with her mom. Drew was.
On Shift: Drew Barrymore interviewed her Mom?
On Break: No, she was next to her mom. She talked about doing coke when she was twelve.
On Shift: Okay.
On Break: With her mom, I mean. They talked about it like it was normal.
Genre Defining Satirist: Imagine how anxious and paranoid your parents get on coke. They'd talk about your grades until 4 AM.
A Screenshot
The Present
- My thoughts on warfare, at length. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- Still digging to hell. [1900HOTDOG]
- Can I got back to the cliff yet? [Expensive Evil]
- This might drive another idea. [Exclusive Evil]
- My other thoughts on warfare, in brief. [Everything Abridged]
The Past
The Future
A little bit about a thrift store find.
Dead Sun Theory
Soon, I'm still digging my way out of Email Mountain. And Deadline Mountain. And Insomnia Mountain. And—
Not Brought to You By
Need a square cure for your round virus? Dr. D. Jayne has you. Probably. Maybe.
This brew's your best strategy for worms. Or a cold. Or asthma. Or whatever your trash lungs are up to, just pay up.
Presumably, the cocktail that fixes everything fixes nothing. But truth and branding live in different castles, and immortality would be a great scam to pull off. The trick's getting there. The current space is...awkward. It's like a t-shirt that says "I'm not a pickpocket."
Though I'm being a little unfair. This frontloads worms, and Americans love chugging dewormer. Almost half as much as they enjoy violence. This ad could use more violence.
Or at least a more distinct mascot. Smiling Madonnas were the blue and orange contrast of the time. Not that we've progressed past skipping effort.
Creativity: D- | Persuasion: C- | Sanity: C- if Methless, F if Meth
One Sentence Reviews
Carpenter Brut - Leather Temple: Hits. (4.5/5)
Woman of the Hour: Ends as abruptly as most murders. (2.5/5)
Fotocrime - Security: Holds attention. (3.5/5)
American Vandal (Re-Rewatch): WHY CAN'T IT BE ME? (5/5)
So You Think You're Gen Z: The things I read for you people. (0.5/5)
A Question
Signing off
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