Extra Evil - Nervine for Breakfast
Today's Fortune: Good gamblers don't trust luck.
Newsreel
Americans talked more about fuel than funerals.
Kalshi denied allegations of being Kalshi.
Pakistan may host peace talks between bombardments.
Greenland stocked up on anti-American fruit and vaccines.
Donny got around to ruining Japanese relations.
Oddly, the Artemis II plans to return from the moon.
A Photo
Dayle's Charge
And then there was one.
Dayle's Charge Survivors still get half off my madness, forever.
War Journal
I finally get my Red Eye (coffee grenade) habit: it's not the flavor. It's not the caffeine itself. I could buy one and chuck it in the bushes, and get the main effect. A Red Eye simply declares I'm formally starting the day, and refusing to stop until I fall over. I see why football madmen buy two.
"Will we get involved on the ground?"
We are. It didn't burn itself. The honest question is "will my dumb ass get shipped there?"
My (minor, brief) knee injury isn't notable in terms of scale. Someone with my hobbies should expect something to snap/crackle/pop once a year. Hell, even games involves long stretches of monastic stillness, which seem to be worse for you than bouncing your joints off the wall.
For my personal timeline, it's an intense dividing line. Knees are the stereotypical injury separating the young and the dying. This is a bigger aging flag than my hairline's forced retirement to Corsica.
Don't worry, I plan to change none of my behavior. They say denial takes off five years. I don't know who they are, but I like their style.
Remember when I made two fake alt right poets, to defraud a real alt right poetry journal? If not, I did. Life's funny like that.
For a separate project (you'll see next Tuesday), I've given one of the poets her own insane Patriotic Poetry Paradise. I should've made that the name. Next time.
Overheard in the Late Night Coffee Trenches.
Customer: It's rap again?
Register: We mix it up.
Customer: You know, I listen to everything. But--
Register dissociates. I learn in.
Customer: Why have a whole genre about disrespecting people? And crime?
Register: Card or cash?
Customer: Rap. I think it's all disrespectful to women.
Register: That's four dollars.
Customer: I mean, it's all I hear. I mean...hello?
Register: Do you need a reciept?
Customer: Yes please. What do you think about rap?
Register: Thanks for coming.
The background track was "Kick, Push" for the record. The register resembles me.
A Screenshot
The Present
- My new book keeps you sane. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- A guide to a saner life. It doesn't work. [1900HOTDOG]
- Fun times. [Expensive Evil]
- This reminds me of a pitch I need to finish. [Exclusive Evil]
- My old book celebrates your madness. [Everything Abridged]
The Past
The Future
An odder personality profile than usual. You'll see.
Dead Sun Theory
Our in-newsletter agency's back open for business. Dump topic suggestions in the comments. Or sky-write them, I'm not too picky.
Not Brought to You By
Tonics weren't always meth.
Some were heroin.
Kidding, kidding. It's bromide. Nervine's mostly hot tub cleaner, which says more about how companies see moms than anything I'll ever write.
But that's a problem for Dr. Miles and his lawyers. As ad fans (or pigs, as we say in the biz), we're interested in this as an ad. Is it artful, and does it print money? Or has this industry been a money furnace since promotional pottery?
I've been in the retro-ad trenches long enough that my eye rolls past "steady nerves." Everything says it fixes your traumatized nerves. Stimulant tonics claim to steady your nerves, instead of turning you into an itchy human superball. So not much from our star headline.
A comic strip's a fun idea, if crowded by everything else. It's almost a side-by-side, which I'm working on my reactive allergy to. But the grin and fretful chaos are both the second speaker, so fair play. Maybe this is what bigotry's like. I'm fine with side-by-sides in theory, I just don't want them in the neighborhood.
I'm probably not taking Nervine. Not just for the hot tub cleaner—it doesn't stand out. But also the hot tub cleaner.
Creativity: D+ | Persuasion: D | Sanity: F
One Sentence Reviews
Zen as F*ck: Braindeath. (1/5)
Unbeatable Banzuke (15-25): Beautifully ruthless. (5/5)
Romance of the Three Kingdoms, First Eighth: Proper noun adventures. (4/5)
Chainsaw Man (Finale): Maybe monthly's more humane for most series. (Ow/5)
A Question
Signing off
Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter thawing from winter. Share it to grab a tank top.
