Extra Evil - Pregaming the Meteor
Today's Fortune: Switch with the decoy.
Newsreel
Signs improved, chants declined.
Strikes brought US markets to their knees.
Goldberg wanted a two-week retirement festival.
Spain's airports are only open to literate heads of state.
Tiger Woods missed the afterlife by two shots.
There might be some RAM under the couch.
A Photo
Dayle's Charge
People like this deal, and procrastinating. I'll run it until the last stop.
Dayle's Charge Survivors still get half off my madness, forever.
War Journal
When my ego inflates, I remember that I said "primape" instead of "primate" until I was thirty.
A little bonus for the protest-oriented. My tip for frame-of-mind.
Marches and the like can feel frustrating. Pointless. Self-soothing. In fact, they mostly are. But not at the moment.
Today, you protest the smallest genitals on Earth. Microegos that care about image, adoration, and legacy more than oxygen. Legacy's twice as addictive as coke, and the withdrawal's three times worse.
Your misspelled sign? Your off-beat chanting? They have a perfect target, for reasons beyond me. But perfect nonetheless.
Let's flip this one. I could be the problem. When an argument starts with "I haven't seen," how do I keep seeing the speaker as an adult? Or biped? Or air user? Help a brother out.
Right, primape/primate. Carry on.
Chainsaw Man's my action manga of the decade. At last, Part One, and the plurality of Part Two. After all my time in the nerd trenches, you'd think I'd be used to Shonen Jump mining artists out by now. But it's still bleak. I hope Fujimoto doesn't name-search. Unlike, you know, every other living artist.
Hmm.
Fujimoto! Fujimoto, look over here! You rule. I'll read the next thing.
Wait! Primeape was a Pokemon. Maybe I can pretend I made a hilarious gaming pull for three decades. The ultimate running gag. In fact, I'll go with that. That's reality. You should be impressed by my dedication to laughter. I might be the funniest primape around.
I'm switching translations of Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Ancient powers (Reddit) whisper that Moss Roberts built deluxe front row seating for Lu Bu's multiple disorders, and I'm enjoying them enough to spend the money. Which is also, I suppose, my review of the text so far.
A Screenshot
The Present
- My new book has moxie. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- The maniacs are getting odder, aren't they? [1900HOTDOG]
- I do. [Expensive Evil]
- I'm getting odder, aren't I? [Exclusive Evil]
- My old book is above the law. [Everything Abridged]
The Past
You are an angel heading for a land of sunshine.
The Future
"I should add an unease-generating section to my newsletter. That's smart. It'll give me something to chat about around the anxiety crowd."
Book-focused week. I'm also stepping up my charlatan-tracking game.
Dead Sun Theory
FancyShark suggests ads for simple machines:
Hype campaigns for simple machines. The more desperate, the better.
Sure. Round One: Screws.
When I think desperate, I think brand enmity. Making a scarecrow is a sure sign someone's screaming through board meetings.
Campaign A
Campaign B
The winner?
Not Brought to You By
Tonic time! I like it more than I'll ever admit in public. While my culture's live implosion is stressful, it's old wreckage is a playground.
Here's Allan's Anti-Fat.
Innovators. Gods even.
Here, before you could telegram insults to your neighbor, we have fat anxiety via side-by-side for crunchy snake oil, over copy you won't read unless you're an ad deviant like me.
Perfection.
What is the fitness media complex, but this ad? What is modern pharma, but this ad? I can hear the national anthem as I read. Behold our common branding ancestor: as prolific as Genghis, with implications nearly as grim.
For the first generation of snake oil, the product is the creative part. "We've got two vats of sewer runoff and blue dye. What should we say it does?" In a vacuum, fixing fat fast with "mostly vegetables" is a helluva pull.
Though it is "perfectly harmless." So maybe it's not meth. Then again, they did feed it to pigs, and barns know how to party.
I bask in the light of the masters.
Creativity: F+ | Persuasion: D- | Sanity: F
One Sentence Reviews
Ballerina: Impossibly stupid, and perfect. (5/5)
Abba Alabanza Discography: Like the invention of fire, backwards. (0/5)
Strange Buildings: True that. (3.5/5)
A Question
Signing off
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