Extra Evil - Starting Gun
Today's Fortune: Tip your fortune teller.
Newsreel
Minnesota day cares can eat freedom.
Add Nigeria to the reparations queue.
Ukraine negotiated with its two worst enemies.
A judge paused phbbbbbbbbt.
Iranians protested outside, without gifs.
Great White Sharks have a poor k/d ratio.
You Need This
Soon.
A Photo
War Journal
The same mistakes faster, louder, and with less forethought. Let's roll.
My laundromat (and presumably a few other screens around the planet) plays a channel called NostalgiaTV on loop. It's old trailers, commercials, etcetera, from before life got hard.
And I get it. People like the past. All their memories live there. And more than a few exclusive people.
I get it.
I've aspired to be lest dogmatic about nostalgia. And kept a long killstreak of that going. I haven't gone on one of these rants in at least two weeks. Three even.
I get it.
But for me? NostalgiaTV's a horror movie. I'd prefer a snuff montage.
I love a wide range of old media, thinkers, and people. The specific framing of fleeing reality at warp speed makes my arm hairs stand up. A surge of the urge to, well, flee.
Overheard on a stalled train.
Awake: He was posting pitctures the whole time. But just the bottles and all that.
Dozey: I saw that. I saw that.
Awake: And I say...that wasn't...you aren't...be who you are. My friends from Jersey, I don't see them often, but they like to stunt. That's them. you're more creative, that's fine. Don't post other people's bottles and act like you're that kind of nigga. It's not the move.
Dozey: Posting...he was really posting too. Bottles, food, the car.
Awake: I was so turned off. We were doing great, then he...if I wanted to date one of those guys, I would, you know? We had a nice quiet thing, and that was working. Why try to be them?
Dozey: I don't know. I can't...I don't like either type. Neither type? Either.
Awake: So turned off. Next.
Overheard at Independent Chain Coffee.
Contacts: You learn how great founders operate from multiple verticals, you...you look at the greats, and replicate that.
Glasses: Uh.
Contacts: There's levels to it. And a lot of not great ones. Like the last place I was at, was paying like, a non-livable wage. We don't do that.
Glasses: Okay. Good.
Contacts: Any other questions? I'm happy to be helpful if I can.
You made it. I'm proud of you.
I meant that bit at the top of the War Journal. This was an experimental year for me. I tried new approaches to circus tricks, publishing, web presence, swiping, preserving democracy, healthy ankles, and academia. Absolutely none of them shook out. I'm going to keep the mad science flowing next round. Bitterness is for million dollar comedy specials called Suppressed.
A Screenshot
The Present
- The new year needs a new copy. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- Seven of my columns are still free, free, free! [1900HOTDOG]
- Amran and I talk punchlines. [Hopeton Hay Podcasts]
- Mercury improves New Year hangovers. [Exclusive Evil]
- Noah may not make it past his next holiday. [You Need This]
- Return to my classics. [Everything Abridged]
The Past
Again, seven of my columns are free now.
The Future
First, I'll remember to edit this section before the email goes out.
Dead Sun Theory
Soon.
Not Brought to You By
KFC put some wheatpaste posters up. My brain/an archive sprint says I haven't talked about them, but phantom memories linger. It might just be the War on Sleep acting on me again. Either way, they look like this:
In ad kindergarten, they say inventing an enemy can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, you can triumph over an inert enemy. On the other, you can lose.
There's some humor to spitting on the family turkey. I'm not the type to cling to sacred cows, as you can imagine by now. It just rings a little false, humor aside, when the flavor gap is like the ocean. The family turkey's never given me food poisoning.
Creativity: D | Persuasion: C | Sanity: D+
One Sentence Reviews
Strange Weather in Tokyo: I see the appeal. (3/5)
December Bulking: How I want to die. (Egg/Nog)
December Cutting: Let me die. (Egg/Normal Egg)
A Question
Signing off
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