Extra Evil - Sumo With God
Today's Fortune: Whatever you hear, keep walking.
Newsreel
The National Science Foundation's going down swinging.
The EPA's disemboweling itself.
Sudan's civil whatever threatens precious, precious oil.
We might get The Colbert Report back.
The WHO prefers hospitals intact.
China's annual Microsoft hack's done.
You Need This
Paused until mid-August. Teaching takes time and all that.
A Photo
Taken at Industry City, which never disappoints.
War Journal
One of Dan Carlin's best Hardcore History segments explored how promoting the fastest, most eager ass-kissers tanked Nazi efforts in almost every field.
I think about that every time I see RFK's dumb ass anywhere.
Star Citizen still makes broken updates for an engaged cult. I knew "just show up" was flexible, but I didn't know it applied to scams.
Right, crossover audience. Star Citizen's the grandfather of modern scams. Or the youngest religion.
See, game developer (sort of) Cloud Imperium games promised a space combat/exploration game. A flight sim that would clean your house, find you love, and make your parents accept you. Some parents joined their children in the cult, and some cultists must have dated by now, so they're 2 for 4.
The Kickstarter campaign made a mere two million dollars. The Star Citizen website's made over $700 million dollars to date, with no final game in sight. That's enough to send the surviving fanbase to space, along with their lawyers.
To recycle a joke from the column: Welcome to the Great Grifter Era. I don't know if Clifford Irving or Bernie Madoff is our Gold Roger, but Elizabeth Holmes should at least be a Yonko.
Right, crossover audience. The Great Pirate era is...nevermind. The point of the joke gatling gun isn't getting every little thing, it's enjoying a dense environment of chaos. Think 30 Rock.
Meanwhile, at Bagel Fortress:
Apprentice: Then what?
Master: So then he says "you're all just sitting, drinking water?" And I say yeah. "You're just waiting for someone to buy you drinks, drinking water?" And I say yeah. And he says "Well, I'm gonna go home, if we're not even going to have fun." And I'm like "Thank you for gracing us with your presence."
Apprentice: Damn.
A Screenshot
The Present
- I can't believe they let me write this. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- Become a rock. [1900HOTDOG]
- I may abuse the strategies here. [Secretly Incredibly Fascinating.]
- I'm shocked about this one too. [My Previous Book]
The Past
Substack and I had a bad breakup.
The Future
Testing an idea. Fingers crossed.
Dead Sun Theory
Our champion has a fascinating prompt, that my arrogant ass is rereading at 1 AM. It'll make for a great email next week.
Not Brought to You By
I can quit tobacco ads anytime. They're just a little treat to get me through the day.
Especially Lucky Strike.
I'm hooked. Bury me with my death stick posters.
Today, the fat-hate's the immediate problem, followed by fifty others. But let's talk about the fifty-second. It's a small thing I can't shake.
For most, literacy shapes how you scan images. If you have my mail code, you likely take things in left-to-right, top-to-bottom. Visual artists can explain it better than I can.
So why is the Ghost of Obesity Future on the left? The future goes on the right. That's Jhiqui-level core knowledge. They're not called After-and-Befores. And why is my fat future pushing me off the diving board? I should thank him, I'm a field mouse when it comes to heights.
Creativity: F+ | Persuasion: F | Sanity: F
One Sentence Reviews
Superman: Gunn's got it. (4.5/5)
The Book of Lives: LLMs are a grey-goo scenario for brains. (0/5)
A Question
Signing off
Thank you for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter clinging to a helicopter. Share it to climb up.
