Extra Evil - Tense Present
Today's Fortune: You have a duel in four weeks.
Newsreel
Hyatt had higher standards than the White House.
Luge had its week in the sun.
The market coaster reached a permanent peak.
Pam Bondi screamed into a paper bag.
Hallmark printed chocolate money.
Pharma pivoted from vaccines to leeches.
A Photo
Dayle's Charge
Dayle's Charge Survivors get half off my madness, forever. Not bad.
War Journal
Fusion flower/coffee shops get synergy. Sometimes I need to work, but my heart's one bean from exploding. Then I consider a cactus.
Maybe branding's pointless.
I've eaten a lifetime of promo for the holy market, and I'm tilting after one little collapse. Specifically, watching Trump fever steer US pharma. Because survival chafes with our new brand, our best Albert Wesker understudies are drifting away from vaccines and toward chemical anorexia. Granted, the latter improves many lives, and fixing that liver-death issue sounds grand. But only market logic treats deluxe diet pills like a zero-sum foe of stopping sequels to the black death.
But wait! I've built a strawman. Federal vaccine neuroses are about one man, maybe two. That cult aspires to a pure command economy, without the ghost of an ideal. The GOP retaining a single free market soldier proves that American delirium's more about skin tone than the wealth of nations. Or anything else, really. Real Americans would gladly drown to deny Harlem air.
Disheartening, if you enjoy all the removable gills and low-effort PEDS in Deus Ex and the like. But keep your chin up! Biopunk vacuity will just come along before the next vaccine. You'll double-jump over the fallen. In fact, Deus Ex-style grey death may be first.
Often, these ramblings sound like I'm not much of a patriot. True that. Excellent reading comprehension. Isn't it nice to learn about people?
Dayle's Charge is one week off! Have you bowed three times towards Gettysburg? Lit a candle for General Sherman? Become a Dayle's Charge Survivor for half off, forever? This life is rich in opportunity.
Note: this chunk discusses a suicide. Feel free to skip to "Overheard."
While my degree says English, my bibliography reflects a Lunatic Studies scholar. A leader, in my egoist opinion. I've reviewed more books by, for, and about madmen and bigots than most burgers read in a year. Granted, that could be "one," but its a lot. Something in the middle double-digits.
Last year, an early column subject took his life.
Two years ago, technically. I simply learned of it last year, and it's taken another to set in. However distant or adversarial the relationship, death's cameos are sobering. Half of life is pretending you're immortal, and it ruins that game.
Perhaps this was inevitable. I cover more manosphere gurus than a sex offender registry, and they're not a famously stable or happy cohort. He was one of my first Tate-inspired subjects. Finding out threw me for some time. He didn't know I was alive, or dedicate his exit to any feuds. But even an absurdist book review is a link between people. And their death reminds you that our world is fragile.
I hope you're doing okay. If you're not in office, I'm rooting for you. Perhaps rooting for you to go sane, but rooting.
Overheard in Perfect Cocktail Bar Selection
Founder: You're a creative, right?
Unrivaled Satirical Genius: Yeah, I write--
Founder: What do you think of AI?
First Draft Twain Prize Winner: Not much. Do you like music?
Founder: Sorta. But what about Gen-AI? Do you write with it?
The New Kurt Vonnegut: Not...not my thing.
Founder: I use it all the time. Today, I finished four months of research in an hour.
Aristophanes Jr.: Wow! What kind of music?
Founder: House. What if it's a new way to use our imaginations?
Breakdancing Jonathan Swift: Or someone else's imagination.
Founder: ...Oh.
Black Voltaire: House is great. Ever been to Jupiter Lounge? It has a Fallout theme.
A Screenshot
The Present
- My novel can save America, probably. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- I have thoughts about Jason Vorhees. [United States of a Movie]
- You'll love this one. [1900HOTDOG]
- All about weddings and me. [Expensive Evil]
- How could you? [Exclusive Evil]
- So much trash, so little time. [Exclusive Evil]
- My collection can rebreak America. [Everything Abridged]
The Past
That first time I wrote a run-on.
The Future
Trying to get at the prank backlog. The execution on this stuff is glacial.
Dead Sun Theory
Our agency's adventures continue. A suggestion from Jennifer: "AI Agent add-ons on how to destroy humanity." Let's rock.
In fact, let's try my least favorite thing—subway quips.
I might make stickers.
Cult Spotlight
Michael Bramley spots the perfect novel in the wild.
One day I'll beat Word Finds.
Psst. Send your shilling/book shots/conversions of non-believers to contact@extra-evil.com. And get attention! Sweet, sweet attention.
Not Brought to You By
Let's lower the stakes for a round.
Donuts! I love them enough that a ChatGPT riff only raises my blood pressure five points. This would be a chain of deeply personal insults otherwise.
A ChatGPT clip or mockup (I'm centuries away from caring which) is something of an update on highlighting a review, or Michelin star. Only meaningless and soulless. Offset, somewhat, by the inherent formal cheekiness of a screenshot street sign. Instead of writing words about someone's mother I can't take back, I'll call the creativity question a non-factor.
As far as the persuasion aspect goes, I acknowledge that "the botter's favorite sugar rush" is a claim with some potential. The doomed half of passerby might be charmed by the break in format. The rest...well, even violently exclusive targeting tends to perform better than none. Reign in hell, as they say.
Creativity: No Contest | Persuasion: B | Sanity: D-
One Sentence Reviews
Reed's All-Natural Zero-Sugar Extra: An overpriced, vaguely appropriative addiction. (Help/5)
Gym Music: This can't be for anyone. (1/5)
Strange Houses: Lightning frame idea. (4/5)
HYBRID: What? (HYBRID/5)
Wuthering Heights (New Film): The rare sexless fuckfest. (0/5)
Samurai Flamenco (First Third): The audio mixing couldn't be funnier. (4/5)
A Question
Signing off
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