Extra Evil - The Biker Slayer
Today's Fortune: The details will burn themselves.
Newsreel
The Mars tariffs are pretty steep.
The VMAs nominated 2003's hottest new artists.
Genocide's a tough rebrand.
Taiwan has a popular show about next year's war.
The next jobs report will be doubleplusgood.
RFK graduated to killing future medicine.
You Need This
Paused until mid-August. Some competing short-term engagements.
A Photo
War Journal
Any To Catch A Predator guys hit the Senate yet?
Meanwhile, on Planet Coffee:
8 oz: Almost got the shit beat out of me by bikers.
16 oz: That's a classic American experience. What happened?
8 oz: I was sitting on a log. Drinking a Gatorade, chilling.
16 oz: What happened? What—
8 oz: These two bikers, big guys, pop out of nowhere, start sizing me up.
16 oz: Oh!
8 oz: "You better get the fuck off our log," he says. And I like "No, finder's keepers. Get your own log."
16 oz: "Whoa, really?"
8 oz: Yeah.
16 oz: You're crazy, bro.
8 oz: Gotta stand your ground.
I've known disappointment in myself, my friends, my country, my family, my country, and America. It all pales before the sharp, visceral irritation of losing a fifty dollar mechanical pencil.
How do I justify a fifty dollar Japanese pencil? I can't. Which makes losing the thing a psychic kidney stone. I used slurs that aren't even real—with apologies to my drukaggggh readers.
Thumbing through my old letters, I'm struck by how consistent the workload complaints are. They're grinning, winking, brilliant complaints, but they still hint at a problem. But I doubt it's the load—an infinite To-Do list is a fact of human life. I don't even think it's my disposition, which is perfect and requires no introspection.
The method feels off.
Something about my work-cycle since fleeing the cubicle farm has gotten wobbly. Stuff gets done, but it all feels like Ethan Hunt dangling from a helicopter. I need to chase a bit of that James Bond sweat-free swagger. If nothing else, my fashion sense might improve.
Maybe it's the chair. I bet it's the chair. I'm replacing the chair.
I hear it, brothers and sisters. The power metal revival. We must simply bide our time.
A Screenshot
The Present
- My new book feels better than love. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- We're getting closer and closer to demons. [1900HOTDOG]
- Paper! [Secretly Incredibly Fascinating.]
- My collection feels better than food. [My Previous Book]
The Past
The Future
I'm thinking eggs. And maybe a column on an old, strange publishing incident.
Dead Sun Theory
Educating still sits heavy on the sleep schedule. Soon.
Not Brought to You By
Our journey through the modern billboard continues. We'll stick to outdoor and subway ads for a bit, since New York insists I see more of them I can hope to process.
I hate this less than you'd imagine.
The words stab my brain, but that fight's lost. Dating app ads are the land of flying cliches. What I like is the goofy, low-rent Tim & Eric visual.
The entire sector is glossy and delivers nothing. How do you pretend to stand out? Try to look cheap and human. Not exactly fruit from the Tree of Truth, given the lunatic pricing and worse results. But good products don't even tilt honest advertising. Why expect that from tech's ruins? The "cheap lawyer" aesthetic amuses.
But Dennard, I don't think they're trying to look like ass, or be more human. It's incompetence from an egoist.
That's the strange thing about life. I can't tell! Whether or not Dini wanted too look like an insurance fraud specialist, she's right there. Good for her.
But Dennard, it doesn't even explain the AI matchmaking gimmick.
It's new bullshit. You just assume.
Creativity: B | Persuasion: lol | Sanity: C
One Sentence Reviews
Cruise O Matic: These Ikuta books are made for me. (4.5/5)
The American Automobile: I continue to enjoy my narrow interests. (4.5/5)
PassCode - Insignia: A few things I like put in a can and shook. (3/5)
Mobile Suit Gundam-GQuuuuuuX (First Two Eps): Not a typo. (4/5)
A Question
Signing off
Thank you for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter scaring off bikers. Share it to lie more.
