Extra Evil - The Dim Ages

Newsreel

Jeffrey didn't spellcheck.

McConnell didn't land on his feet.

Grammies didn't matter.

Royalty didn't enjoy attention.

Gaiman didn't make a comeback.

Hydrofoil didn't die.

A Photo

War Journal

Despite warnings from cooler heads, Dayle's Charge is still on. Which includes half-off advanced cult membership. Nice.

Overheard at Terminally Crowded Coffee.

Mets: Well, it's painful, but eventually it lessens.

Also Mets: Thing is, I never thought we'd break up.

Mets: Well if you're never gonna break up, that means getting married.

Also Mets: Yeah, but that's not what I meant.

Mets: I guess it's hard to look at, that these uh, things, all end.

Also Mets: When you're in it, you're not thinking of it ending. I mean, I knew he wasn't my forever person or whatever but...

Mets: Obviously, logically you think that. But you don't hear that, from someone you're dating.

Also Mets: Yeah, I've never said that to someone I was with. Or maybe I have. Maybe I did say it.

Mets: You only see him in this club, and this club is once a week?

Also Mets: Only...yeah, only once a week. We film our own tiny desk concerts.

Mets: What's that mean?

Guess what I saw in the wild? Everything Abridged, at Manhattan's Hungarian Pastry Shop. A nice, filling moment. What were the odds?

Higher, I imagine, two blocks from Columbia. Maybe I'm just a decent employee. Still a nice beat.

Training continues.

I've approached things the wrong way, of late. Quietly, thank Odin, but incorrectly.

A few small wins and losses tipped my perspective. They convinced me that I was a finished product, ill-treated. You know the refrain, from a thousand art class heroes:

The little people don't get me. The big people are against me. The young are braindead. The old are out-of-touch. Where's my statue?

A common disease in creative life. It's a poison arrow you shoot into yourself. I suspect it's killed more minds than opium.

But an inch of distance says I'm a lucky fledgling. There's a lot to learn and do before growing a classic Princeton ego. Or even Columbia smarm.

I appreciate that luck, and the compliments and donations so far.

Training continues.

Overheard at Bagel Addiction.

Bright Green: There's a text from my situationship.

Tie-Dye: Which...which...

Bright Green: John!

Tie-Dye: What? Holy god. Why?

Bright Green: I'm going to give him the "who is this?"

Tie-Dye: That doesn't work. People know that one. That doesn't work.

Bright Green: I just gotta sell it.

Tie-Dye: How long has it been?

Bright Green: A few months. I'm gonna send "Who is this?"

Tie-Dye: No! You should string him along, then ghost.

Bright Green: He had a guy on his team who plays squash. So I went out with him to get back at him.

Tie-Dye: To...

Bright Green: Become a point of conversation, so he finds out. I played them. I'm' playing them.

Tie-Dye: String. Ghost.

A Screenshot

The Present

• My novel saves your soul. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
• The war on Seabrook continues. [1900HOTDOG]
• I miss the cliff. [Expensive Evil]
• Sci-Fi is an essential vitamin. [Exclusive Evil]
• My collection heals your body. [Everything Abridged]

The Past

I'm starting to think I should've held this in my back pocket.

The Future

Taking a break from poisonous madness for confusing madness.

Dead Sun Theory

Last week's funding bit cleared out the suggestion box. What fake ads do you want to see? Comment below. Until then, some statements on another matter.

Cultist of the Week

Experiment time. 1900HOTDOG lifers may recognize the format.

If you spread a book/article/prank by Dennard T. Dayle, thank you for your service. You're this cult's superstar. Send me (extraevil@proton.me) a picture/description/link of your handiwork, along with what you'd like to be called, and you can be that round's Cultist of the Week. Or next week's. It'll happen eventually.

Not Brought to You By

Dove's patting itself on the back a bit. Via real (funny word) rave reviews from Reddit.

And a few correctly-spelled, slur-free insults. More likely to be fake than the tepid praise, based on my time there.

Dove ran this post on their user page, instead of walking into the thriving, active, and judgy skincare subreddit. To anyone that'd care enough about Reddit for this concept, that's deluxe cowardice. Elite, even.

Granted, doing it invites disaster. But that risk is the entire appeal of this claim. Without that dice roll, this is tepid nothing. Fitting for Reddit.

Creativity: C | Persuasion: D- | Sanity: C-

One Sentence Reviews

Just Friends: A dog running in a circle. (2/5)

Friday the 13th Part IV, The Final Chapter: The title's a wonderful gag. (2.5/5)

The Setting Sun: Jeez. (4/5)

The Mysteries: Jeez again. (4/5)

My Favorite Thing is Monsters (Vol. 2): Jeez squared. (5/5)

A Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter trying new things. Share it to revive the old ways.