Extra Evil - Immodest Proposal

Today’s Fortune: You'll receive the offer of a lifetime.

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Newsreel

You might have heard.

Armenia’s indie warzone competed with pop favorites.

Fresh George Santos charges provided a sense of stability.

Erdogan demanded Sweden guess the number he’s thinking of.

Kevin McCarthy suggested Kevin McCarthy as a replacement for Kevin McCarthy.

An aspiring strongman exhaled.

STI-prevention pills are just in time for a stressful era.

Today's Mood

War Journal

I’ve enjoyed Christopher Bird, a.k.a. MightyGodKing, for some time. One of his best bits was a public campaign to write Doctor Strange. Can you imagine the stones? Directly harassing a megacorporation like that? I’d try it, but I have too much humility.

Dear Bethesda Softworks LLC and/or The Illuminati,

People like new ideas, but they love cross-media. Hence, Fallout coming to streams. That’s brilliant. Fallout’s a dragon’s hoard of beloved, resonant, and personality-rich stories. An instant pool full of money.

Why stop there?

There are other media streams, and you have more pools to fill. You just need voices that can hit that Castlevania stride. With Warren Ellis in romantic exile, other wordy cynics will have to do.

Let me write a Fallout comic.

Not just any writer, franchise, or medium. Dennard Dayle. Super Mutants. Splash panels. Why separate them? Why deny our love? Why put less money in your pool? It could be a wave pool.

I was grown in a pod for this. I’m sure you’re considering other double-Ivy web comedy favorites forcing post-apocalyptic satire into The New Yorker. I’ll fight them. Bare-knuckle, broadcasted live. After crawling out the pit, I’ll write issue one.

Be smart and exploit me now, before my fancy novel comes out. That’s a whole centimeter of pool money, wasted on delay.

Sincerely,
Dennard Dayle, Vault Snapback Owner

I’m toying with Halloween costume ideas. Some of the competitors:

• Gary Oak

• A Saner Species

• Subway Car DJ

• The Bedsheet Ghost of Bill Maher’s Dignity

• Stinkmeaner

• Composite Bboy Spider-Man

• The Bedsheet Ghost of World Peace

• Sleeping In and Hiding All Night

• Invader (Monster Wars mascot)

• My Own Column Cover Art Again

• The Chosen Undead

• The Bedsheet Ghost of Antitrust Law

I’ll let you know where I land.

Jokes aside, my lifetime best costume was the Riddler. I wrote my own half-baked riddles on index cards, and terrorized confused drunks until 4 AM. Highly recommended.

My first draft added to the general acrimony. It’s in literary hell now, next to my first two novel attempts. Safe’s hard, but stay sane.

The Present

Introducing the BIGFEETS Design-A-Trap Contest. Jump in, and help not-catch cryptids.

What’s the worst reality show you’ve seen? Here's a new one.

Learn my secrets.

Ever watch an animated Rabbit duel?

Everything Abridged is the last and best book.

The Past

Boy, I sure have a nice grip on post-apocalyptic humor.

The Future

The next Hotdog bit is more conventional and out of left field at the same time.

Crossover special on the 29th. Prepare thineself.

Not Brought to You By

A personal favorite magazine ad, for the original Doom. I was two at the time, so I can’t pin my affinity on nostalgia. I’m mostly amazed that it’s (relatively) indirect. Now that game ads are all cutscenes and misquotes, any FPS ad with a concept has novelty.

I had to keep this in color for it to make a lick of sense—apologies to the theoretical reader attached to monochrome. I suspect that today we’d use silhouettes instead of literal insects, for stronger contrast. But I abuse icons in everything, so I’m biased.

Amusingly, it’s a better fit for the reboot. That game feels like a simulator of the Old Testament God.

Creativity: A
Persuasion: A
Sanity: B

One Sentence Reviews

Reefer Madness (Original): Now I can keep my loved ones safe from Satan’s flowers. (5/5)

Megagogo: Feels a bit like I’m waiting for something that never happens. (2.5/5)

Thunderbolt Fantasy, Season 1: Near-perfect war marionettes. (4/5)

Thunderbolt Fantasy, Season 2: Perfect war marionettes. (5/5)

Thunderbolt Fantasy - The Sword of Life and Death: Two shorts get two grades. (4.5/5)(3/5)

Open Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter spamming light attacks. Share it to parry.

-DD