Extra Evil - Luck is the Only Power Stat

Today’s Fortune: The world's finally ready for your mixtape.

---

Newsreel

The Proud Boys pivoted to prison gang.

I have a bridge in Chengdu to sell you.

Bird Flu—calm down—appeared in—calm down—flocks on three continents—put down the Tang.

A groundbreaking Times column compared America to Rome.

UFC is now CM Punk’s second funniest washout.

India’s speedrunning the Space Race.

Today's Mood

War Journal

Labor Day! Some people have if off. Others grind overtime serving them. Not paid overtime. Just loyalty to the chain. Thank you for generating value. Ignore that chatter about a Union, we got you a pin.

I might save some pennies for a Photoshop course. Or at least a book (I heard you can find them in museums). Image tomfoolery salvages half my posts here, and two hundred percent of my 1-900-HOTDOG posts. And I’m terrible at it.

Not in the “bad results” way. That would be easy. In the “look up every click, every time” way. I don’t know how much grey matter I sacrificed to freshman beer pong, but whatever managed macros is gone. Lord knows the divorce bender stole Javascript.

The beta loves promoting its own AI tools. The generator’s a nest of horrors (as they all should be, for civilization’s sake) but the selection tools are fantastic. I’ve spent centuries struggling with the magic wand tool (that should be slang) in the past. Sometimes modernity works out.

“New York State of Mind” opens my playlist for Unnamed Project #2199. It somewhat relates to the topic, but I’m also the Nas fanboy my demographic and education demand.

The song has an early version of a now-stock punchline: a bullet making someone flip. You might not have heard it much, if you’re more into pop or therapy. But it’s common enough for Bobby Schmurda, who was basically AI-generated, to use in a chorus. Yes, he had a second song.

That tickles my inner historian. It’s fun to see a future cliche’s bright-eyed, enthusiastic premiere. Old comic anthologies are great for a similar feeling. Great and terrible work both have a manic, anything goes creativity that keeps me rapt. Then the pasteurized version appears in a movie a month later.

CM Punk flaming out’s a twist, unless you count anything he’s said or done. Unfortunately, I lost some money. I assumed he’d snap on air, to give the diehards something to enjoy. It’s what I expect from an entertainer at his level.

Ah well. Maybe the Impact! run.

The Present

My second weekly 1-900-HOTDOG volley concerns America’s favorite, and worst, police procedural.

What if McGruff the Crime Dog could sing? Pain, my friend. Pain.

What happens when Field Research teams up with some vagrant from Brooklyn? Thunder.

It’s time to bring Monarchy to the stars.

Why Everything Abridged? Why not?

The Past

There’s a documentary about me. No, really.

The Future

Netflix evicted me mid-article. Figures.

The blood seal on a Substack collab has been signed, so eyes open for that.

One Sentence Reviews

Sword of the Stranger: In the running for best movie about stabbing. (5/5)

Jacob Samuel - Horse Power: Deflates. (2/5)

John Beuhler - Inappropriate: Not quite there. (2/5)

Velvet Vol. 1 - Playing the long game. (3/5)

Baki Dou 1 - Itagaki is years beyond editors. (3.5/5)

Baki Dou 2 - Itagaki is decades beyond editors. (3/5)

McGruff’s Smart Kids: I meant every word of that column. (4/5)

Open Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter that spies on its citizens. Share it to leak the files.

-DD