Extra Evil - Fiddle Solo

Today's Fortune: Poor.

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Newsreel

Not much.

Alright, Fine

Earth’s dumbest apes are overjoyed.

The market’s hyped for brownshirt sales.

Drunk Japanese cyclists face prison, impact.

NATO tugged its collar.

Chinese astronauts returned to a different mood.

Wood-paneled satellites can fill space with greener trash.

Today's Mood

War Journal

You know, Extra Evil was almost a Sunday newsletter. A fine idea. Past Dennard is consistently my worst enemy. I wonder if anyone can relate to that today. Stepping on every banana peel and Cheney collab in sight.

Nah.

We’ve got some new faces, with wild timing. Welcome to the cult. Here’s the routine.

Every Wednesday: mixed journal entries, news parodies, ad reviews, and publishing updates. Just like this. Labeled “Extra Evil.”

At random: bonus comedy articles/stories. Labeled “Exclusive Evil.” Most recent: "Love Bombing Safety Guidelines." My favorite: “Only the Good.”

At random, but less often: I write about leaving the house. Labeled “Expensive Evil.” This is the crowd favorite.

I’m back from Ireland, and two final weddings. More on the nuptials another day. I’ve barked about that timesink enough, and I try to only repeat myself eight times a month.

Afterwards, I enjoyed some solo downtime in Galway. Tourist traps have a place on tour. Especially on Halloween, when every drunk student alive descends at once. I like a good near-riot, and they provided. It’s best to practice before the real thing.

One highlight: a cramped, run-down skate park. A few locals dressed like A Clockwork Orange extras did a lot with a little. While terminally drunk, no less. Admirable talent.

I’m happy with the writing I got done there. Not a typical travel priority, but I repost that page of Vagabond about craft nine times a month. I’ve got negative control over my environment, but I enjoy trying to sharpen myself. Sometimes it even works.

The catch? I bought a round trip. See what I mean about Past Dennard?

Like many people, I’ve got two voices in my head.

One looks for personal points of light in the future. I’ve made some surprise progress on the next book attempt. Things clicked into place a week ago, and I have the most coherent outline of my career. Shame I have to actually write it.

The other dislikes typing in a first-strike target. That’s more than a little paranoid, but you know what my old novella’s called.

The Present

• Preorder How to Dodge a Cannonball and I’ll be your best friend. [My Next Book]

• Is your office ready for a love bombing? [Exclusive Evil]

• Seanbaby and I unpacked Mark Millar’s genius. [1900HOTDOG]

• I’ll have the next episode edited soon, it’s been…fraught. [Weeaboo Hell]

• Everything Abridged is a perfect diversion. [My Previous Book]

The Past

I should go light, right? People liked this Christmas prank.

The Future

A big game of catch up this round. Once I write/edit/summon the usual column/podcast/cope, I have some newsletter features planned. Namely a shorter Expensive Evil, and a more discursive one about local travel. We’ll see how it goes.

Not Brought to You By

The Atari Jaguar had enthusiasm, also known as “lying.” Alongside the slogan “Get bit by Jaguar,” which hurt it far more. Maybe the print ads do better.

The Jaguar has more bytes. Like bites. Cat teeth. It’s tough, but I think we can keep up.

If you’re a certain age or into disaster docs, that rings false. And the screenshots look like fiction. Sure. But the first failure is boredom. The mauling pun has maximum cheese with minimum impact. If you lie, do it with flair. Who knows how far you’ll go?

Mario’s cameo gets a few points. We don’t maul enough rival mascots today. Bring back inter-corporate animosity, it’s more amusing there.

Creativity: D- | Persuasion: D- | Sanity: D

Four or so of these actually came out, and two were good. But the main failure, again, is that it’s just data. Spending full-page money on a dense, dry list is nuts, especially when magazines actually sold. At least put Tony the Tiger back in.

Creativity: F+ | Persuasion: D- | Sanity: D

Blow chunks. I love this like a child. It’s wonderful. Plan 9 wonderful. Birdemic wonderful. I might print this and mount it in my bunker. If I didn’t read this today, I would be legally insane. Anyone know where I can find a working Jaguar?

Creativity: Perfect | Persuasion: Flawless | Sanity: A+

One Sentence Reviews

The Road: Meets the hype. (5/5)

Devin Townsend - Powernerd: That title could’ve been my nickname. (4.5/5)

Big Game: I know why, but why? (1.5/5)

Prodigy.: That’s not a typo. (1.5/5)

Prodigy. - The Icarus Society: At least Millar’s having fun. (2/5)

Easy Question

Harder Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter that FUCK. Share it for GOD DAMN IT.