Extra Evil - Old Horizons

Today’s Fortune: It’s always darkest before the flash fire.

Newsreel

Aang Suu Kyi was convicted of sitting in a general’s chair.

The market noticed everything else happening.

Tweeting “diamond mines” now autofilters to “free speech.”

The Kremlin accused the White House of plagiarism.

Biden issued his first intentional pardons.

States deployed vigorous prayer against BA2.

War Journal

I could talk about my life, my family, or civilization drowning in a kiddie pool. But only one issue’s on my mind: fake loading bars.

What atrocity do I have to commit to get rid of them? Because I’ll commit one in any cause’s name. Every time a program hovers at 95% for two hours, I imagine a planet in flames.

Petty? Sure. But petty feels good when too much matters. Next week, I’ll cover airline food.

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I just wrapped up my first semester of teaching. Somehow, the building is still intact. I’m sorry for failing to meet my reputation for entropy, and will try harder in the future.

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After finding zen with the nations and churches of the world, I still get a discriminatory twitch in my eye when witchcraft comes up. Is there a cure for that? Or a spell? It’d be a nice proof-of-concept.

Maybe there’s a bigotry quota in the human brain. Intellectually, I know that we’re a product of our influences. I’m not smarter than a warlock, I just listened to albums called FakeGodd and Euphoric Shred Zone growing up. Yet I roll my eyes at colorful candles.

Naturally, an old Chris Rock bit comes into play: whatever you hate finds its way into your life. My love connections are almost exclusively aspiring pyromancers. Maybe I should dress less like “Black Chris Angel.”

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Double chocolate chip for life.

The Present

Ever heard of Insurrection! I wrote about it on 1-900-HOTDOG, the only other good site left on the internet.

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If you’re here, you either like reading or stalking me. Either way, hit up my book launch.

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If you like my inane pranks, feel free to support The Dayle Bail Fund.

 The Past

Remember when the president got attacked by a swamp rabbit? I do.

The Future

And on the fourth day, the Lord said  hold the book Everything Abridged holy.

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Tweaking a prank, and a pitch presentation for another prank. Aiming high with both.

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Looking for the right home for that long-awaited video project.

One Sentence Reviews

Insurrection!: Perfect bad art. (5/5)

Young Justice (Season 4.5): Still fun, but preachier than a death row pastor. (3/5)

Meshuggah – Immutable: What can I say, I’m a dork. (4.5/5)

Jedi Mind Tricks - The Thief and the Fallen: Evidently a murderous dork. (3.5/5)

Carpenter Brut – Leather Terror: A dork behind the times. (4/5)

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter hiding beneath a bridge.

-DD