Extra Evil - The Poll Matters This Time
Extra Evil - The Poll Matters This Time
Today’s Fortune: Procrastinate later.
Newsreel
Columnists smothered “soft-launch” and “situationship.”
The Freedom Caucus drafted a Cornerstone Speech sequel.
Netanyahu swore to free the government from the people.
Rupert Murdoch announced a new low.
Chicago’s run-off is a referendum on crime, unless it goes the other way.
Scientists found that Cicadas can fling urine—stop laughing—with a butt catapult—come on , there are serious implications—at supersonic speed.
Today's Mood
War Journal
Steer your favorite writers toward bad weather. It forces productivity.
I was super into Dilbert anthologies as a kid. I don’t have them on hand (my old home was functionally consigned to the flames), so I can’t defend or deride them today. But I like to think there must have been some spark to it, if it reeled in a reasonably smart teenager that had never set foot in an office. A black one, even.
A side effect of this: I watched Adams lose the script a ways before he touched politics.
It started with self-published tracts on hypnosis, his now-famous side hustle (perhaps main hustle, after this nuttery). Like some variants of religion, hypnosis appeals to people that want to feel in control of the world at large. Which tends to pop up at the extremes of ego. I suppose he journeyed from one end to the other.
I remember being perplexed that someone with his clout didn’t use a standard publisher. Now I know that it’s someone’s full-time job to smell this brand of trouble.
It’s a nice warning. I don’t have success on that scale, and won’t unless public interest in catty street art has an unprecedented spike. But anyone’s ego can disconnect from the Earth.
I had an optimistic moment. Those are rarer than meteor showers, so I thought I should let you know.
It’s been 28331 days since Truman signed off on Hiroshima. And we haven’t blown up the planet yet. That’s a type of miracle. If it happened tomorrow, it’d still be inspiring that some genre of sanity won out for so long.
Fingers crossed for 38331.
It’s almost time for a cut. This is very important news.
The Present
This month on 1-900-HOTDOG: I took on a nazi rockstar murderer’s D&D clone. Strap in.
What happens when a lord of the dead leaves New York?
Apologia is here to clear your name.
It makes me smile that "Only the Good" exist.
Everything Abridged is the shit. And by me. Give it a spin.
The Past
You know, technically “Only the Good” came out in the past. Read it.
The Future
Cleaning this manuscript has only eaten half my life force.
I glanced at my next column’s topic. My fingers started moving themselves. It’s already half-done, and mostly insults.
On Aprill 11, Everything Abridged’s paperback hits like a meteor.
One Sentence Reviews
Birdemic III: Exactly what I wanted. (6/5)
Cocaine Bear: Exactly what it claimed. (3/5)
MYFAROG: Moss. (0/5)
The Sword - Gods of Earth: Crushes half the thime. (3/5)
Mutoid Man - Helium Head: Crushes the whole time. (4/5)
Open Question
I’m playing around with ideas for a recurring paid feature, and I’d love to know which interest you. In theory, this would be every other week.
Mock Advice Column: Gurus and advice columnists are some of my favorite eternal targets. I haven’t settled on a persona (if any) yet, but I’d use subscriber questions.
Mock Ads: I’d photoshop up parodic ads for subscriber-submitted products/groups/topics. Something of a specialty of mine.
Serious Q&A: I’d answer subscriber questions about writing/life/the stars. I’m a classic oversharer, so I think it has potential.
If you’re torn, or have a different idea, the comments are open as always.
Signing off
Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter under construction. Share it to steal a crane.
-DD
First time reader and pretty new to Substack. This is great stuff. I appreciate the writing style and I love your article on MYFAROG. As a middle aged white man who grew up on D&D, those descriptions were more than cringeworthy. Crazy that anyone would still accept that kind of gossamer veiled racism. That said, your review had me laughing out loud. Looking forward to more.
I sympathize with the previous Scott Adams fandom. Back in high school I had to do a project where I was required to contact a "real-world expert." My project was about comics and the only person I could think of who might actually respond was Scott Adams, so I emailed him. And he responded! He was courteous, responded promptly and answered my questions. So imagine my dismay years later.
He was already putting out his weird books talking about how you can achieve anything you visualize hard enough by writing your intentions down fifty times a day or something, which I actually tried because it wasn't the first woo woo I'd been presented in my youth (my mom still has her Edgar Cayce books and was a subscriber of Prevention magazine). And I seriously thought his Dilbert Principle and etc were more tongue-in-cheek that they ended up being. Oops.