Exclusive Evil: 𝜋chan Watches the Inauguration

Bonus article! About a specific flavor of lunatic. Postmodern slurs abound.

Enjoy it? Seek help by sending it around. Hate it? Warn others by sending it around.

Welcome home! Now leave. 𝜋chan’s an anonymous, hobby-focused forum where mods know their place. Whatever you cope with, there’s an untraceable thread. The report button’s for spam only–save tears for BlueSky. We’re the last free site, aside from the others.

If you’re tired of being judged, we don’t want you either. But we’ll take you.

OP: This board is dead.

Anon1: Give it time. Big D’s getting us all boats.

Anon2: lolyeah the first volcel regatta

Anon1: Hey /bo/mbers, what boat will you buy first? I just want a mini-yacht, for my maids.

Anon3: I want a submarine to sink foids’ boats

Anon1: Dude, think. Foids won’t have boats

Anon4: I want a submarine to sink his submarine

OP: My gf’s checking out “that forum you like.” Do I rope now, or wait to get dumped?

Anon1: gf? Rope, traitor

Anon2: Maybe you can work it out. If you’ve lasted this long she’s at least a little based

Anon3: itsnotfairitsnotfairitsnotfair

OP: She says we’ll talk later. Looks like I’m in the clear.

Anon2: You still have time to rope, OP

Anon4: Let him learn

OP: Post your inauguration playlist

Anon1: Wagner, Prussian Blue, and a Himmler audiobook.

OP: Baaasic

Anon2: Lupe Fiasco

OP: …What? Are you lost?

Anon2: I like the beats.

Anon3: I’m with anon, all the Kid Rocks try too hard. When I wanna feel white power, I pump some Black Hippy

Anon1: Wait, this bangs, let’s keep a few of them alive

OP: All of you need to leave

OP: I’m there live! What should I say?

Anon1: prolly shoot him before he screws this up

Anon2: yeah bro’s peaked fire away

Anon3: Bang!

Anon4: Vance2025

OP: I’ll try I guess

OP: Write Kamala a letter, one word at a time

Anon1: thanks

Anon2: thanks

Anon3: I love you.

Anon 4: thanks

OP: Good enough.

OP: Black trumpers stand up!

Anon1: Woo!

OP: Get off my site nigger

OP: And planet

OP: You have no idea what’s next

OP: No idea.

OP: Uh hey guys figure prices are up. Like way up. Like $200 for a Cosmic Maid Aiko statue.

Anon1: That’s rough. Have you tried less shit taste? Aiko is trash

Anon2: Who cares? It’s Trump Day, post Melania fakes

OP: What’s with the attitude? Random, unprovoked hate is for Tyrones

Anon3: My meds are up too. I don’t take them, but if I did I’d worry

Anon4: You can get a real Aiko now

OP: Holy hell this is boring

Anon1: Guess no one’s taking the shot

Anon2: Boooooooooo

OP: I mean I love papa

OP: But I also love fireworks

Anon2: Anon, if libs had the stones we wouldn’t be here

Anon3: Anyone have a stream link? I’m out of Elon Points

OP: Whatcha cookin’ for Trump Day, anon?

Anon1: Nothing, cooking’s for maids

OP: You’re on the cooking board

Anon1: Yup. To make sure you nerds hold frame

Anon1: No cooking. No buying food. No listening. No more maid work, ever

Anon2: I’m baking milk tarts. It’s a South African dish, for the lactose elite.

OP: Yum.

Anon1: That does sound good, recipe?

OP: Yo I got that abandoned men line into the Times

OP: Like the New York Times

OP: The thing everyone takes seriously

Anon1: No fucking way

Anon1: Oh my god it’s there

Anon2: Ahaahaha legend

Anon1: How? Can this power be learned

OP: Just got the juice I guess

OP: Starting a new job today. Wish me luck bros

Anon1: lolwhy

Anon2: Bro doesn’t know TrumpCare’s getting us maids and wives (wives are your favorite maid)

OP: I don’t want a maid

Anon1: Whatever Zeta, you gotta take one or it ruins the game

Anon1: A maid’s a need, and you need to fall in line

Anon3: Good luck bro

OP: Thanks bro

OP: Hey, I’m glad my ex is crying and stuff, but I don’t really *get* 47. Can someone help me out?

Anon1: What’s not to get?

OP: The guy looks like he eats eggs shell-first

Anon1: Shallow.

OP: Okay, but he’s a lifelong failure wasting the rest on revenge

Anon1: Now you get it! He’s our guy

OP: Oh, dope. I’m building a bunker

OP: Post where you’re watching Daddy from. Glasgow

Anon1: Moscow

Anon2: Nowhere, I couldn’t take the ads.

Anon2: Endless plugs for Amazon, like we’ve never heard of Prime

Anon3: I’m down, since Jeff’s ex has to see this too

Anon2: Bet

Anon4: Chengdu. It’s like the moon landing, backwards. Good luck burgers

OP: The veep’s looking small. Write Prince Vance a motivational letter one word at a time

Anon1: You’re

Anon2: still

Anon3: I never got this game. Can’t Donny find a VP with lats or a chin

Anon2: a

Anon1: lover

Anon4: couch

OP: We’ll try again later.

OP: Is this it? He doesn’t even look happy about it

Anon1: Duh

Anon2: try a double shot

OP: I guess I expected more. I still feel miserable

Anon1: why wouldn’t you? you were born you. but now all the foids and chads and tyrones and changs and juans feel it too. mission accomplished

Had fun? Me too. Before entering the asylum, consider preordering my much funnier book. It keeps the flame alive.

-DD