Extra Evil

Extra Evil - Boot Cleaning Service

Today's Fortune: You’re in a stable time loop.

Dennard Dayle

Dennard Dayle

— 5 min read
Extra Evil - Boot Cleaning Service

Newsreel

House scorpions apologized for funding venom.

The imperial boomerang left a welt.

The boomerang ricocheted into Ecuador's consulate.

The market chased the Road Runner in mid-air.

Gen. Youxia got voted off the island.

A Stranger Things conspiracy hunted Better Things.

A Photo

Forgot to use this one.

War Journal

ICE flunkies are forgivable. Disgraced samurai had a handy trick.

How's my end? No idea. I'm waiting to find out.

This is the wrong field for my fictional patience. I've taken a big swing, after the last two, and I'm still waiting for the results on all three. My career sends me news on the Pony Express.

Waiting's a basic part of the human process, and I'm awful at the human process. The worst. If we measure humanity by patience, I'm some kind of caveman. Or maybe a chimp. You can teach me "calm down" in sign language, but my deeper mind won't absorb it.

"Where banana? You said banana in one week. Why no banana? Is banana real? Nazistack had bananas."

From our perch, Jon Stewart comes out for disasters. What if that's backwards? What if the US explodes because Jon Stewart goes outside? It must have crossed his mind. I'd live in 24-hour panic. "Panic" is my slang for "stasis chamber."

Childhood habits never leave: I think about Jon whenever I want to trade passports. There's just a bit of that tension this week.

I had a whole riff ready on tension. But it's not tense when you're marching and they're shooting, is it? That bubble's popped. The sane and the other team have called their plays.

I feel tense, the world's in motion.

My old tension habit: Strega. I don't play that game anymore (I beat it, and cracked the Top 10). Somehow, gum's stepped in. The faster the Pompeii lava flows, the more Trident I tear into.

Just remember, the law is your friend. That friend that riffs on your weight, and stares at your partner a little too long. They never call on your birthday, but expect a four-course dinner on theirs. If you complain, they'll shoot you twelve times.

Overhead in Psychotropic Coffee

Slip-Ons: I don't get it.

Laces: I'm a founder.

Slip-Ons: What did you found?

Laces: A collaborative collective.

Slip-On: To do what?

Laces: Move together.

Slip-On: You haven't...I don't...what do you do?

A Screenshot

The Present

The Past

I laugh at my own jokes often.

The Future

A surprise, for the last black history month.

Dead Sun Theory

Obviously I've missed the Big Beautiful Cyst by a century. But there's a new funding tug-of-war. Here's another flavor of branding.

Not Brought to You By

Discord counts for "seen in the wild," right? If not, take me to court. Maybe I'll be the first fraud to face consequences in 2026.

We've reached the pinnacle.

Not for selling products or whatever. Rob's dicked there. And not for some kind of single-image problem solving. On that front, this is like fingerpainting with your eyeballs.

But for distilling the idea of advertising? It is pure. "Hello demographic. I am of your ilk. Buy my lead-enhanced elixir."

You could ask what 0% safe space means. Or you could let the rainbow shine. Win or lose, up or down, this is the one moment that could produce this image. History in stunted motion.

Schneider's comedic peak. Full marks.

Creativity: F | Persuasion: F+ | Sanity: F

One Sentence Reviews

My Favorite Thing is Monsters: Hits like a meteor. (5/5)

Megadeth - Megadeth: I promise to only hold grudges half as long as Dave. (1.5/5)

Poppy - Empty Hands: Marilyn Manson without a rap sheet. (2/5)

Gluecifer - Same Drug New High: I didn't know they still made that effect pedal. (3/5)

Evola - Revolt Against the Modern World - Much too dumb for the damage behind it. (Wank/5)

A Question

Signing off

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