Exclusive Evil - Flooding the Phone
As above.
I'd say you deserve a bonus short. Enjoy.
I still have that book (How to Dodge a Cannonball) coming. Preordering makes you a saint.
You have 84 unread messages from Jason.
You have 85 unread messages from Jason.
(12:42 PM) I’m not really sure about moving in.
(1:10 PM) Just kidding! Awesome idea.
(1:22 PM) I have to ask my parents. We don’t talk, but their opinion’s everything to me.
(2:00 PM) Mom says go for it, we’re in business.
(2:01 PM) Hold on, looks like dad hates you.
(2:44 PM) Correction: dad’s always hated you. Bummer.
(2:45 PM) Who cares what dad thinks? He never believed in me.
(2:45 PM) We’ll be married in the Bali sunset.
(2:49 PM) Actually, I’m opening a Bed ‘N Breakfast with the boys.
(3:05 PM) Correction:, it’ll be a Ben ‘N Bed. Breakfast is a dead angle.
(3:28 PM) Jack’s out of the Bed ‘N Bed. Want to buy in early?
(3:28 PM) Small catch: business partners shouldn’t live together. Boundaries.
(3:28 PM) A boundary we’ll shatter, when we move in together.
(3:29 PM) Here, or in Bali. Where the days melt together in love.
(5:31 PM) Are you going to respond?
(8:01 PM) Deleted message.
(8:02 PM) Bed N’ Bed doesn’t fulfill me creatively or sensually. I’m out.
(8:02 PM) I’m proud of your entrepreneurship. But is there really room in that life for two?
(8:03 PM) I understand if you have to leave me behind.
(8:17 PM) We had a good run. I’ll always remember our long talks, especially the arguments. God, you were awful.
(8:50 PM) Please don’t go.
(8:59 PM) Unless you have to.
(9:03 PM) Did you hear Jack and Caitlin broke up? Rough stuff.
(9:04 PM) They went to Bali and everything.
(9:06 PM) At least we’re solid.
(9:06 PM) Well, semi-solid. Like a gelatin mold.
(10:12 PM) I’m moving in with Caitlin.
(10:28 PM) I’ve lived with Caitlin for eight weeks.
(10:31 PM) Caitlin and I are strictly platonic.
(11:18 PM) Caitlin wants a third. You in?
(11:19 PM) You’re being super immature about this.
(12:00 AM) Deleted message.
(12:00 AM) Deleted message.
(12:02 AM) It’s a joke! You’re good with jokes, I just want to make sure you know.
(12:03 AM) We joke together.
(12:11 AM) You know, Bed N’ Bed was my idea.
(12:11 AM) I don’t appreciate you icing me out, Ms. Bigshot.
(12:17 AM) God, the Telegram group was right about modern women.
(12:55 AM) They’re wonderful.
(12:58 AM) I don’t think I can contain my love to just one.
(1:01 AM) Except you, my island sunshine.
(1:03 AM) Still nothing to say? I’m starting to get nervous.
(1:24 AM) Maybe you lost your phone. I’ll try calling it, so you can hear the buzz.
(1:26 AM) Buzz buzz. I was kidding about Caitlin. Buzz.
(1:34 AM) You’ve probably found it. Take a sec to catch up, I have some great jokes up there.
(1:34 AM) Though you can skip them. Focus on me finding your phone.
(1:35 AM) You’d really be lost without me.
(1:52 AM) Or with me, walking on Bali’s shore with no destination.
(2:31 AM) Except love.
(2:32 AM) Narrative, lower-case love. We’re not ready for l-bombs.
(4:40 AM) I got us a dog.
(4:40 AM) He loves to play-fight.
(4:41 AM) Dogs and people! At least someone knows how to be social.
(5:01 AM) Deleted message.
(5:13 AM) How much foam around a dog’s mouth is normal?
(5:36 AM) I’m taking Mugsy to a vet. Well, the NYPD are. But it’s nice of them.
(8:08 AM) The vet put down the dog.
(8:22 AM) I’m eating our dog.
(8:22 AM) Another joke. He’s buried behind the car park.
(8:22 AM) We’ll always have Bali. When we go.
(8:57 AM) I want kids. Just kidding.
(9:15 AM) You are the fire in my soul.
(10:07 AM) I have no soul.
(10:07 AM) No one has a soul. Your nutty religion’s half the reason the country’s burning.
(10:12 AM) I think. What’s your religion again? Caitlin was a Baptist, and I’m not over it yet.
(10:23 AM) Air Asia won’t let me return these Bali tickets.
(10:39 AM) Deleted message.
(11:00 AM) Could you dump me? I’m running out of material here.
(11:00 AM) You can’t just sit there and take this, right? At some point, you have to act.
(11:01 AM) Do something.
(11:05 AM) Or live like this.
(11:06 AM) Dump. Me.
(11:30 AM) See you at lunch?
kk sounds good (Send)
Thanks for reading. I extra-appreciate sharing this one, now that we've left the mothership.
