Extra Evil - Hard Launch
Today’s Fortune: A new book will fix it all.

Newsreel
Modi denied acting in Canada, India, or The Milky Way.
Patriots discovered my weather spellbook.
Tactical famine kept you free.
Trump ditched the “implicit” before threats.
There will only be a Walgreens every two blocks.
NASA updated upcoming sci-fi settings to Jupiter.
Today's Mood

War Journal
An abandoned idea had me scouring song covers. I went into the project with the wanky premise that we’ve lost the art. I learned that lazy theft and embarrassing stunts are tradition. Classic mistake.
For one, there are infinite covers of “Psycho Killer.” You could make an entire musical out of “Psycho Killer” covers. I might make an entire musical out of “Psycho Killer” covers.
The impetus behind this? W.A.P. Hordes of YouTube micarders slapped those lyrics into another genre and waited for ironic wealth to follow. Few succeeded.

Nice cover. It’d look even better with the right model. Give it some thought.
I’ve hinted at this, but I haven’t been quiet about the book out of dignity or restraint. I just needed the cover, preorder page, and reasonable distance to publication. Self-promotion Hell is a sprint, not a marathon.
Well, for some people it’s a marathon. They keep the remains of other people under their floorboards. Watch those people.

Acting’s a beautiful skill. Sure, there’s art and hard work or whatever. But imagine people believing you have COVID the day of their wedding. The power.
Losing a day bugs me. Weddings mix watching someone else’s date and watching someone else’s mass. Good stuff, if you’re into reality tv. I need something fresher, or an explosion. I’ve only seen one wedding with an explosion.
As for family, my siblings were polite enough to elope. I love them for it.

Paranoia still demands I write rec letters from scratch. After seeing applications from both ends, I know what templates look like. It follows that other, smarter people know. My karma doesn’t need someone’s academic career added to the wreckage.
They’re an odd tradition, aren’t they? More of a filter for anxiety than performance. You don’t have to do well in my class to get one. Just catch me in a humane mood. People send me Times headlines as a bit now, so get in before noon.
The Present
- Learn How to Dodge a Cannonball. [Preorder my book]
- Behold: Ashton Kutcher’s eighth worst sin. [1900HOTDOG]
- Oh, right. The biggest comic on Earth. [Weeaboo Hell]
- Many enter the Playboy Club. Few leave. [1900HOTDOG]
- I now know more about Naruto than myself. [Weeaboo Hell]
- If Eric goes down I’m getting a tattoo. [Exclusive Evil]
- Bet on yourself. [Exclusive Evil]
- Everything Abridged takes you higher. [My Book]
The Past
The Future
I’ve got a sticker idea and a poster idea. While it’s getting cold, of course. So it goes.
Not Brought to You By
I tried to follow democracy, but decent vintage fitness ad collections are eluding me. I’ll probably have to buy a “book” on “paper.” For now, game consoles. Starting with the most famous of all: the Neo Geo Pocket Color.
Well, I had one. Mom had legendary bargain radar, and there were more decent games than my skill level would ever cut through. In the spirit of the enterprise, these stay in color.

I’ve stumbled into the generation gap: was this screen-hypnosis joke played out in 1999? If they got here early, this is passable, if broad. If it’s already slipped into cliche hell, someone should be whipped. I’ll grade both scenarios.
Creativity: B+/F | Persuasion: B/D- | Sanity: C+/C+

Bunt.
Creativity: C- | Persuasion: C- | Sanity: C-
(Okay, sanity’s a C+, I just like the joke.)

“Put down your pacifier, and pick up a real man’s toy.” This angle’s shallow, petulant, immature, and melts if you think about it for a minute: perfect game marketing. The simple riff on the opposition (the Game Boy, in case you spent your youth achieving) goes a long way.
For bonus points, it looks more like a fashion ad. Game ads have their own codified aesthetic, and it’s terrible. Run from it at all costs.
Creativity: A | Persuasion | A- | Sanity: D
One Sentence Reviews
MASTER BOOT RECORD - Hardwarez: Think Yngwie with a synthesizer. (4/5)
Hard Ticket to Miami: Inimitable madness. (Exploding Snake/5)
Blah Girls: Inimitable failure. (0/5)
Easy Question
Harder Question

Signing off
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