Extra Evil - Late Nite Rush
Today's Fortune: They're not paying you enough to do that.

Newsreel
Your uncle’s a firefighting analyst too.
Neil Gaiman brought a character-driven approach to sex crimes.
Panama pointed at the canal’s name.
Washington recognized genocide in Sudan and skipped follow-up questions.
Singapore held a novel-worthy family feud.
Digital bets edged out Mom-And-Pop extortionists.
A Photo

War Journal
Somehow, I still get the “it must be hard to write satire right now.” Nope. I’m playing with house money. I’ve got more material than my schedule or fingers can use. The rest of the day sucks.

Hey, you know how I have that book coming? The one with bayonets and the like? There’s a preview up on Buzz Books, and I think you’ll love it. Mostly because How to Dodge a Cannonball is the best thing I’ve written. Or ever will, after I provoke the new management. We’ll see how things roll.
By the way, if you’re a high priest of my cult, pre-orders go a bit further than orders. Publishing’s odd like that.

I screwed up, and got back on a sane schedule. Now I’m doomed when I cross the Prime Meridian. There was no winning answer, really.

When I doubt myself, I think of Dave Mustaine. He made Rust in Peace with two intact brain cells, drunk. I’ve got three, boring. The sky’s the limit.
The Present
- Preordering “How to Dodge a Cannonball” makes you a trendsetter. [My Next Book]
- Do you want to be Queen for a Day? [1900HOTDOG]
- Being wrong sucks, I should’ve just tripled down. [Weeaboo Hell]
- Life without an enter key. [Exclusive Evil]
- The High-Spot List, in my case. [The Stunt List]
- I made the list of “books that will give you endorphins.” [My Next Book]
- Everything Abridged keeps happening. [My Previous Book]
The Past
The Future
You’ll learn a bit about magic.
Not Brought to You By
There’s not much left in this issue of Physical Culture. Unless you find crank cures, ancient health myths, and unchanged meatheads hilarious. Then this issue is a miracle. I love it so much. It’s my baby.
Here’s an ad for a book. That’s on my mind for some reason.

The headline’s a lie. Not only because of the content. It’s stolen the throne of the One True Headline.

Look at that magic. Life is a miracle. We should have wiped ourselves out ages ago, and we keep pushing like Rocky Balboa. I’m certain the species is here to stay. The lines on the map? Less so.
The body copy has more hammers. I might need to find a copy of Food Science in the Grand Library (eBay/The Internet Archive/my dreams).

“Every other scientist alive is a worthless shitter. The history of science starts here. Join the revolution with my book, or wither away into nothing.”
Wonderful short fiction. Elite comedy. Why make a good ad?
Creativity: A+ | Persuasion: F+ | Sanity: F
One Sentence Reviews
Lukhash - Digital Burnout: Straight across a pleasant plate. (3.5/5)
Queen for a Day: The bottom. (0/5)
Osamu Dazai - Self-Portraits: The rare “About the Author” that’s wilder than the stories. (4.5/5)
The Cimmerian - An Age Undreamed Of: A borderline tribute band to a perfect band. (4/5)
Easy Question
Harder Question

Signing off
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