Extra Evil

Extra Evil - The A Might Be Worse

Today’s Fortune: Duck.

Dennard Dayle

28 Jun 2023 — 3 min read

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Today's Mood

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War Journal

Thank Belial real life doesn’t have an XP bar. You couldn’t get my eyes off it with a crowbar.

I’m told I come off distant. So here’s a classic personal touch: a lyric that means something to me. No fakeouts incoming. If it sounds basic, I’m basic.

Musically, I’m drawn to bombast, technique-wank, and antisocial flavor. It’s what pulled me into the whole hardcore rap/prog metal nexus. To this day, I’m tsundere for Dave Mustaine. You can always win me over by cursing at the president while juggling on a unicycle.

“1 Train” isn’t that song. At least not A$AP Rocky’s verse, which has:

(I know one thing) Anything is better than that 1 Train

Now, obviously Rocky’s left a lifestyle I’ve never touched. And on a literal level, the 1 Train sucks hand grenades. It’s slower water torture. But that goes for half the trains in New York. They’re inchworms with emergency brakes.

It still resonates. More than I want it to, in fact. The 1 defined daily slogs from The Bronx to a classroom with a chance. Then a job short on dignity and compensation. Then a training montage with no apparent point. Then a relationship I don’t write about.

Forget delays, crashes, or power failures. I was stuck, before and after I boarded. One bar about one train links scarcity, office dronedom, creative angst, and heartache.

Or maybe I just like the way he said it. I heard that A$AP Rocky guy got pretty big.

Do pacifist children say “My dad couldn’t beat up your dad?”

Fun fact: in language classes, I’m a walking tragedy. I nearly killed the minds and souls of a dozen Spanish and Japanese teachers. It’s a wonder that me talky English gudlike.

It’s been scratching at me, because I’m not good at letting failures go. It’s a legit character flaw. No matter how irrelevant a loss is, I’ll play it back in my brain at 3 AM like the Count of Monte Cristo.

The point? I’ve crawled back to Wanikani, a kanji learning program. I expect similar disgrace to ensue. But now I don’t have a GPA to mourn.