Extra Evil - Popples.01

Omens

The economic war went worse than the physical one.

Private space travel promised launches past time and over budget.

Pete tried war without generals.

Literacy is miraculously/irritatingly a fashion trend.

All another Obsidian Fallout took was an industry crash.

Quantum batteries may produce smaller, sturdier addictions.

Mirage

Announcements

Looper, among other time tales, raises an important question: could you kick your ass? The younger you? The older you? This morning's you?

The version certainly matters on my end. Some eras of my life were defined by whipped cream and negative sleep. Like yesterday. I could kick that guy's ass.

The key, I suspect, is not technique or conditioning. The bro cycle says most tryhards (hi) won't get very far ahead of themselves, so to speak. Instead, the difference maker is self-hatred. The versions furthest from therapy and closest to Jagermeister have an immense edge.

Thus, I declare 26-year old Dennard unkillable. He'd drink the rest of us to death, just to see if it'd work. It's less of a fight and more of a hostage situation.

On the other hand, climate reports say that 45-year old Dennard is some kind of desert raider. Might be made of sterner stuff than the comedy writers.

If I miss one thing from mass, it's the hats. Can we start bringing those outside, into the workaday world? Think of it as bait for my strain of heathen.

My days improved, my blood pressure went down, and my charm went up when I accepted a simple fact. Modern man uses "deep" to refer to emotional intensity instead of complexity. And I can flail and whine all I want, but language is more democratic than any election. Therefore, deep means resonant until further notice/a particularly strong meme.

I'm often confused by what sticks, mostly due to my own pattern recognition. And collective memory seems to have a much easier time with the Reflecting Pool fiasco than the White House's fun habit of flooding it's own cities with soldiers and handing them "kick me" signs. I suppose the swamp water is less of an existential heart attack. Good lesson, if I ever stumble backwards into ads.

I've got a big change coming (well, medium considering all the rings/babies/new names life can bring) this winter, and with it some cold feet. I'm going through with it—it's the right move, the fun move, and I'm deep down the sunk cost hole in time and money. But change sends my lizard brain running. Maybe that's what makes me decent at habit-based work. E.g., this newsletter existing for more installments than raindrops in a storm.

What eases my heart in the short term: I can skate again. My right knee's long vacation is finally over. Less due to many, many doctor visits, and more due to me acknowledging that isometric holds exist. But I'm more than happy to take the win, and write these in a wall sit for the rest of my life.

Entertainment

Gospel Aerobics. Life is a hilarious wheel.

Jury Duty, Documentary Recap: A comedy moon landing, and also probably a crime. (4.5/5)

Uniball Zento Pens: Awesome until the tip gives up on life. (3.5/5)

Gospel Aerobics: Bahahahahahahahaha oh my god (6/5)

Wrist Guards: My shield in this world. (5/5)

Casino

I signed one or two dozen more copies.

I spread the word of Gospel Aerobics.

A long weekend produced this.

Nonsponsor

Annoying.

Creativity: D | Persuasion: D- | Sanity: C-

Granted, children and dedicated parents have strong shields against irritation. I should play the game in front of me. Let's look at that headline with fresh eyes.

Deeply annoying. An insult to children and a plague upon their guardians. This approach may be why Michael Bay isn't directing Popples VIII today.

Creativity: F+ | Persuasion: F | Sanity: D+

Gasleak

Contents may vary.

Overheard on Matcha Mountain:

One Cup: The stand's back on the corner.

Two Cups: Ohhhhhh shit.

No Cups: What's wrong with them.

One Cup: They almost got in fight with a customer.

Two Cups: And they...they have the worst oxtail. The worst. The worst.

No Cups: Hold on, a customer?

Two Cups: Barbecue sauce. They soak their oxtail in American barbecue sauce.

No Cups: Like, uh, an assault?

Two cups goes on to explain culinary sin.

Postcard

Be Evil.