Extra Evil - Cannibal Buffet

Today's Fortune: Love thy neighbor's flavor.

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Newsreel

Matt Gaetz loved and lost.

There’s a ceasefire deal. No, not that one.

Australia may abandon citizens over 16 to social media.

Brace for the trade tactics of the 1700s.

Multiple humans want to be DNC chair.

Aditya-L1 can see the sun’s pores.

Today's Mood

War Journal

I’m drawn to two experiments: cutting meat, and trying human meat.

It’s an eternal question, with endless variants. Moral truth’s obvious to both monks and raiders, they just react differently. Live with consistent-ish rules, or enjoy a burning village’s smell. I’m not flame-averse, but peacenik home training’s hard to shake. So I stumble through the middle.

My status quo (generic omnivore) is hard to defend or afford. I’m not well-versed in moral philosophy, but “yummy” doesn’t pop up in what I’ve read. Kant doesn’t address flavor at all, which seems one-sided. But I’m likely the problem. After all the Ivy League headspins, I’ve only retained moral flexibility.

We’ve torched our standards elsewhere, from our kings to our kickboxers. Should food be different? If we’re half as delectable as our diets, I’m missing out. How many people smile as often or widely as Hannibal Lecter? The flavor must be worth the kuru. And what’s better for human muscle than human muscle?

There are, of course, compromises. Pescatarianism and whale meat. Ethically sourced or endangered livestock. Hunting everything myself. That synthetic meat gun they’ve been working on since 2002. But it all feels like equivocation. My extremist mind drifts toward tofu and long pig.

This thought might return in a refined form later. I only have so many ideas, and Swift can’t reach me from the grave.

Let’s try a little life on the ground.

I spent Friday fumbling with JavaScript for a project (nothing public-facing, don’t expect an app from me this century). There was something nostalgic about it. “Something” being my doomed freshman tilt at computer science. I left high school with orders to become a coder or find a new address.

Thank Vulcan I failed early and hard. I code like an infant boxes. Or a senior citizen. Or a Youtuber.

I skipped that particular circus, but questions about YouTube vs. Dignity followed me to Sunrise Mart (sushi grade fish for people that sleep in). First, I said I preferred fake fights with powerbombs and masks. That sounded dickish, so I wished the senior citizen defying time and nature well. Word is it didn’t takr.

Awkward time. But I got some red bean cakes out of it. I’ve heard good rumors, and could use some flavor whild I ignore Thanksgiving.

The red bean cakes move me.

I haven’t played enough games lately.

Based on my thin memory of Psych 101, at least. Faded core interests sit somewhere between talking to yourself and jungle war sniper tours on the list of warning signs. Odd problem, given the weeks of game ad reviews. Yet here we are.

I’ve barely played since raving about Cyberpunk 2047 in this section. I’ve also felt like moving to Mars. Falling into a Nine Sols-shaped hole has been my healthiest accident in some time. The game’s recondite by design, punishing to the point of comedy, and exactly what I needed.

Maybe it’s the freedom to fail. Fleet fingers test a different type of attention, with zero stakes. And I feel more centered now. Enlightenment might lie behind Hades II.

Alternate reading: I welded my joy center to a Game Boy Color in 1998. Good luck putting that genie back in the bottle.

The Present

• Preordering How to Dodge a Cannonball makes us best friends. [My Next Book]

• It’s normal to review Confederate propaganda, right? [Exclusive Evil]

• It’s normal to impersonate 4chan reactionaries, right? [Exclusive Evil]

• It’s normal to review ecchi pandering, right? [Weeaboo Hell]

• It’s normal to collect pin-up war propaganda, right? [1900HOTDOG]

• It’s normal to collect puppeteer propaganda, right? [1900HOTDOG]

• It’s normal to take dating disasters literally, right? [Exclusive Evil]

• Everything Abridged is the Omega. [My Previous Book]

The Past

Here’s me kicking and thrashing in academia.

The Future

Treading water for a week. I’m behind on everything, including this sentence about being behind.

Not Brought to You By

You might remember the Game Boy Color as the first strike against the human attention span. Or at least from that joke earlier. Let’s look at some of the promo.

“So good it’ll kill you.” Game ads have tilted this joke forever. It’s always just a little off, but closer here thanks to the handheld angle. I’m not sure what the solution is—I lean toward cutting the headline altogether. And the body copy. Actually, that’s pretty solid. Could someone high-five me through the screen?

Pettier point: this is a check that Mario Golf cannot cash.

Creativity: C | Persuasion: D- | Sanity: D

It’s a campaign! I’m guessing it started with the skeleton, because this sucks way more.

“Hey there, you miserable sack of sloth. Unload that handgun and load up 8-bit baseball. You’re welcome.”

Creativity: D | Persuasion: D- | Sanity: D-

It finally matters that it’s a Game Boy.

This doesn’t reinvent the wheel. It’s not even a great wheel. But it’s round and rolls.

Creativity: B | Persuasion: C | Sanity: B-

One Sentence Reviews

Stonewall Jackson’s Black Sunday School: Not great. (-2/5)

Blade of the Immortal (2019 Series): A gift for my specific edge. (4.5/5)

Opeth - The Last Will and Testament: A gift for my specific pretentions. (5/5)

Kendrick Lamar - GNX: A gift for everyone. (4/5)

Easy Question

Harder Question

Signing off

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