Extra Evil - Genoshan Hindsight

Today's Fortune: Live an unadaptable life.

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Newsreel

ABC fought as bravely as you’d expect.

Trials for killing the homeless and CEOs look different.

Meta suppressed Gaza reporters to wait, is that person cake?

Prince Andrew’s only accused of spying this time.

Amnesty International pointed at a dictionary.

Those two astronauts are still up there.

Today's Mood

(It’s the cover to Lupe Fiasco’s Tetsuo & Youth again.)

War Journal

Today’s lesson: don’t say you’re editing on Christmas. It sounds like “I’ve picked a gun.”

My (soon-to-be former) apartment’s at the tail end of a slow train. I’d complain, but my commutes start with a seat. That’s worth much more than I imagined. Especially when wearing the wrong shoe size for an embarassingly long time.

My soul’s tested after around 15 minutes, when humanity floods in. Holiday or snowstorm, the car gets stuffed like luggage, a defense bill, or your bedroom slang of choice. Forcing the question: when do I ditch the seat?

It’s less of a question, and more of a game. A bet between my thin sense of decency and environment. When I’m enjoying the human experience, I’ll skip sitting altogether. If I’ve just survived an all-nighter or election, I can ride to the other corner of the map. While holding eye contact with a grandmother and her grandchildren.

I mostly let it go. You should really know your shoe size.

I still don’t get it. Hardcore games thrive off length and difficulty. How does anyone that plays have time to whinge about women existing? No one’s unemployed enough for both hate and Blasphemous 2. Get good/a job/a date/a coffin. Dealer’s choice.

Some propaganda I watched for the column made a fun point: the stock quote “money is the root of all evil” is incomplete. Reportedly, the full line is “the love of money is the root of all evil.”

I almost wrote 500 words about that distinction changing nothing. But that’s not quite true. The missing words shift more blame to human habits. I need to look out for that impulse, it has the potential to make me as bull-headed as anyone I cover. The list of once-sane cultural critics is long. In fact, it’s only two or so names shorter than the list of cultural critics.

In any case, credit where it’s due. I didn’t learn anything about money, the Bible, or people. But I did learn a little about me.

The Present

• Preordering How to Dodge a Cannonball makes it all make sense. [My Next Book]

• Let no jokebook escape your blade. [1900HOTDOG]

• Kagurabachi is better than we deserve. [Weeaboo Hell]

• I made the Stunt List! My ego loves it. [The Stunt List]

• I was in a mood writing this one. [Exclusive Evil]

• Everything Abridged abridges lots of things. [My Previous Book]

The Past

Here’s some Christmas nonsense from my New Yorker pile.

The Future

The holiday rematch tour has one more stop, I just forgot how to count. Mea culpa.

Not Brought to You By

We’ve covered hardware, but what do you do with your $500 box? Nothing your computer can’t, but it’s still fun stuff. Let’s look at some ads for individual games.

Every ad here is from Issue #2 of Electronic Gaming Monthly. That’s July 1989, when hairspray technology peaked. Today the game’s more about talking heads and free samples, but games leaned far heavier on traditional marketing at this point.

caption...

“Now Japan’s hottest games are getting America’s highest reviews.” Same as it ever was.

This may seem odd from me, but I can respect review-quote gun shows. With all the pratfalls and complexities of creative advertising, there’s something admirable in saying “We’re too good to play.” An option when the product works.

It won’t do much, but I won’t leave angry. It’s your money.

Creativity: D | Persuasion: C | Sanity: B

You know how I feel about stock jokes. Here’s another problem with them: they flatten the topic. River City Ransom is odd in the best way. There’s a lot to work with. Yet this page could be for anything.

Now, about this particular stock joke. I have a small complaint. You know, ads already…they all…every ad interrupts the magazine. That’s the concept.

Creativity: D | Persuasion: D | Sanity: C+

“Video games grow up.” Here’s a bug zapper I fly into often: was this angle tapped yet? I could slack off and say “ah yes, children hate dragon-slaying simulators,” but let’s be sporting. The real line between D+ and C- is how often players had heard “time to leave the playpen.”

The body copy indulges in a lot of borrowed interest, namechecking Pong, Pac-Man, and Mario. Pretty much everyone short of Reagan. I know boardrooms love confrontational marketing, but it helps to make your ad about you.

Creativity: D+ | Persuasion: C | Sanity: C+

One Sentence Reviews

Blasphemous 2: Fun nightmare. (4.5/5)

Striker - Play to Win: I’d like it more if I hadn’t heard them improve this formula first. (3/5)

Lupe Fiasco - Tetsuo & Youth: There are few comebacks like it. (5/5)

Bedsore - Dreaming the Strife for Love: Exactly the prog album the cover promises. (4/5)

Easy Question

Harder Question

Signing off

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