Extra Evil - Psychic Thawing
Today's Fortune: Let the fuse do its thing.
Newsreel
If Ebola won't give up, why should you?
The treason subsidy looks nice.
America dropped bombs like late homework.
The pope condemned Vance's to-do list.
Executive embezzlement's illegal in South Africa.
Ferrari's electric car fits perfectly in a private jet.
A Photo
War Journal
Sitting next to job interviews is nail-biting tension. I encourage all of you to lie more. "Be yourself" is for the heart, not rent.
I'm on the cusp of something. Maybe good. Maybe just another flavor of delirium. Either's smarter than treading water.
Ever drink from a skull? Not your victims, just a grinning prop. They're a staple in tiki bars (quality), thrift shops (decent), resorts (middling), and cruises (hell). If it's chipped, you've found a good spot. Too kitschy for some, but I've double-fisted kitsch in my time.
Then again, cruise ships are never good spots. And they do the most good there. A colorful, dumb joke surviving in the underworld. Like a puddle in the Sahara. That spirit has appeal.
I suppose I'm thinking about angles for shooting riots. With a camera, not the other thing.
It's decent comedy autopilot to check BlueSky and sprint elsewhere. The dominant clown moods remain "check out this cat" and "my eyes are bleeding." The first one's ou—I'm not the best at pretending nothing's happening. It strikes me like a dorky version of schizophrenia, but not quite as healthy. As for option two, aren't red tears a sometimes food? Readers don't seem eager to crank their misery from 11 to 12. Struggle sessions can be fun. Don't tell me you couldn't tell some heaters while listing your neighbors sins.
Douglas Adams really nailed that opening, you know? What's that line look like now? The party at the end of the world? Selfies on the Titanic? Shots on the Challenger?
I have a post-it with "Rapture's Boat Hack," underlined three times. 5 AM Dennard is an alien to me. Even when I wake up at 4.
I'm on the cusp of something.
How many shots until Hegseth's in the zone at work? Are there different numbers for speeches, photo ops, and watching others do real work? Does he just chug until the fat jokes feel natural? Try saying "epic fury" sober without smirking. I dare you.
As I read guides to portrait shooting, I wonder if I'd be better off asking a bored student for tips.
How's reactionary-owned TikTok doing? Did they leave the money tree alone, or ask people to wall-twerk to the anthem?
A Screenshot
From Companion, my favorite viewing since Ballerina.
The Present
- My new book makes the tides turn. [How to Dodge a Cannonball]
- Guess who's camera went the heaven halfway through. [Gamefully Unemployed]
- I'm the dumbest. [Exclusive Evil]
- A sneaky little double-header. [1900HOTDOG]
- The air fare is the expensive part. [Expensive Evil]
- My old book makes the Earth Shake. [Everything Abridged]
The Past
The Future
I'm guest writing the New Yorker Humor newsletter's "Funny This Month" post. Well, guest-wrote. I did it already. No idea when it comes out, but I'll pitch a pebble at your window when it does.
Not Brought to You By
I might have a religious streak.
This ad has vibrance, and a voice. But it is unsaved. It relies on me taking out my brain sponge and punching in that url to close the loop on the idea.
And guess what! I didn't. And I won't.
As I type here at 2:43 EST (you manage your life, I'll manage mine), I could punch that into a browser. I haven't. And I won't.
The website might be hilarious. It might be pornographic. It could host a version of Melania with an all-squirrel cast. I'm blogging about it, and I'll never know.
My commandment is simple: you finish your ad in the ad. Your QR codes will go untouched otherwise. And likely, even after you do.
Creativity: C- | Persuasion: D | Sanity: C
One Sentence Reviews
Companion: Watch Companion. (5/5)
Companion Trailer: Spoiler hell. (0/5)
Castle - Deal Thy Fate: I'm way too late to this band's party. (4/5)
The Dirty Book: More amusing by accident than design, but amusing. (3/5)
AEW - Double or Nothing 2026: Double. (4.5/5)
A Question
Signing Off
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