Extra Evil - Publish and Perish

Today’s Fortune: Your evil twin's been training.

---

Newsreel

Reporters pitched tents outside a Miami courthouse.

CNN took Chris Licht fishing.

The LA Times fired everyone without a Pulitzer.

Gimlet announced a deep dive into the fall of Gimlet.

Marvel rewarded comic teams with gentler, slower lashes.

Reddit got three percent worse.

Everything Else, Armageddon

Prepare for the final battle.

I’ve always wanted to say that. I pay taxes like an adult, but my inner child has the wheel. Likely the key to winning this game. Either way, let’s see Round Nine’s winner of Everything Abridged, the book beyond human comprehension:

And yes, I’m grading associates on a ruthless curve.

Now, the last definition in the tournament of definitions:

To be clear: define “Positivity” in a comment and be funnier than other people, and you win Everything Abridged. Your destiny.

Today's Mood

Remember, right to left. I’m basically a deflated balloon today.

War Journal

Now that was a busy week. Normally, I’d let you breathe between glimpses of the abyss. But holidays and teamwork have their own schedule. Extra thanks to everyone that read my adaptation of “The Downward Spiral.” More up-tempo fun ahead in Expensive Evil. Perhaps.

As of this year, I’ve celebrated Bastille Day more often than Father’s Day.

I stumbled into a preview of the next Twitter clone—Bluesky, which sounds like a wellness scam. At a glance, it’s much the same. Which might be big, considering how many people just want the old Thunderdome sans diamond miners. If Hive had worked instead of melting, they’d own an island by now.

I’ve crawled back to running. I realized my ninja efforts are less “steady elevated heart rate” and more “failing the same stunt once every thirty seconds.”

Granted, a controlled taste of failure is healthy. That’s why I love FromSoft. But it won’t keep your heart from exploding. In fact, FromSoft might make it happen. Remember the Orphan of Kos? It nearly gave my story the typical Jamaican end.

I’ve settled into a 6 AM groove. Only it’s the end of my day, not the beginning. This nonsense doesn’t write itself.

The Present

Give the graduate in your lives the wisdom they need, in this tag-team article.

If I ever throw a block party, my family's gotten smaller.

It might be a rager.

Speaking of ragers, some thoughts on cruises.

The bookshelves of the world need Everything Abridged.

The Past

Getting back on the road reminds me of this.

The Future

I’m at a small impasse in terms of the next Expensive Evil’s best cut-off point, but it’s coming along.

The next 1-900-HOTDOG column is looking crispy. You might be disappointed in me, but you won’t be disappointed in it.

One Sentence Reviews

Blood on the Tracks Vol. 1-13: DDFH. (5/5)

Nike: Run Club: A digital billboard. (2/5)

Sarah Silverman - Someone You Love: High highs, low lows. (3.5/5)

Spider-Man - Across the Spider-Verse: A skillful, heartfelt, and forward-thinking execution of an idea thoroughly beaten to death. (4.5/5)

Kelsey Cook - The Hustler: Pulls up. (3/5)

Open Question

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter aging backwards. Share it to bait the Oscars.

-DD