Extra Evil - Read That Princeton Thing

Today’s Fortune: Only comic nonfiction can save you now.

Nov 29, 2023

Newsreel

Eric Adams picked a scapegoat.

India announced plans to spray-paint coal green.

A truce emerged between combatants and reporters.

Elon pivoted from CostCo Tesla to Walmart Goebbels.

Vatican reactionaries clashed with double-reactionaries.

Virgin Atlantic landed a jet powered by free press.

Today's Mood

War Journal

After a century and a half, the Princeton Reunions Expensive Evil entry exists. It only took half my life force.

New projects can finally star in the procrastination section. And I actually like the results: the event’s bizarre, the punchlines are dense, and I talk about “feelings.” That last bit’s against my code, but we do what we must.

The first chunk’s free, and funny. The rest’s for Dennard+ donors, and funnier. But you can beat the system with two referrals. Or blackmail. Lord knows I’ve been around.

Refer a friend

Thanks for reading. Together, your support and life’s random roundhouse kicks produce a balanced ego. I appreciate that.

One amusing roundhouse: I wrote a fun parody of a specific open letter. Then a dozen more groups face-planted, making it impossible to tell what I think or why. The internet being the internet, sending it out would backfire. So I’m stuck watching the piece decay like democracy.

Inspiring, in a way: incompetence unites the political spectrum. If only that didn’t include me. I should’ve known: modern hits always produce sequels.

Every writer’s got a shelf. After a long maturing process, I really resent the shelf. I glare at it like an old enemy. It steals all my fun, career-destroying ideas. Sometimes I kick it on the way outside.

Blame my backstory. I almost got a comedy about a suicidally destructive demagogue out in 2014. And a rewrite in 2017, when the party had only started. So it goes.

At first, a bike trainer's hum is annoying. Then you remember gym playlists. And bills. And scents. It’s my new favorite sound.

I finally get standing desks. Not the health aspect—bodies are enigmas run by elves. But psychologically. Standing desks are just like Gamerscores, honor rolls, or wall-mounted elk. Public declarations of your power level. Which you’re then obligated to maintain or fake. It’s hustle culture’s muscle shirt.

Then there’s sunk cost. Lazing around for free felt fine. Perfect, really. But lazing around after buying this feels like mugging myself. I doubt yesterday’s update would exist if I’d sat like God intended.

The Present

Expensive Evil is back with Earth’s largest, dumbest, class reunion.

Apologies to cat lovers.

Getting money to talk about G Gundam is all I want from life.

Well, that and dancing on Cosby's living grave.

Everything Abridged is for everyone.

The Past

The previous Expensive Evil featured body slams.

The Future

I’m considering cleaning up an old piece about an odd job. If the quality’s there, you’ll see it before Santa.

I should know timing on the book in January. Rambling without a preorder link feels like fluff, so I haven’t brought it up much. But my insane baby’s on the way, and half of you will love it. The rest will forgive me eventually.

Not Brought to You By

Here’s what Ronald McDonald is up to in Costa Rica. I’m sad to report it’s brilliant. Cardboard consumption might double this year.

The closer you get to these billboards, the bigger the food gets. As in the projection, I’m not a complete idiot. The only text is your distance from the nearest franchise.

That might not seem powerful to you. Congratulations. You’ll live a longer, cleaner life. The rest of us shudder before the Devil’s power. This counts as a bioweapon.

Creativity: A
Persuasion: A
Sanity: B+

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