Extra Evil - The Final Final Battle

Today’s Fortune: You can’t lose if you burn down the casino.

Jun 21, 2023

Newsreel

The ocean’s pissed.

Employers promised extra nothing for returning to office.

Classified ______ may be ______ in coverage of Trump’s _____.

The Minneapolis Police Department has a problem or two.

Twitch failed to inspire loyalty among ~~livestock~~ streamers.

IBM pushed quantum computers from Gibson to Stephenson.

Everything Else - The Final Finality

Thanks for playing. It was a delight every week, and inspired a future scheme. For now, let’s see our final winner, with a definition for “Positivity.”

Winners? Winners! It’s a classic cross-counter finish, from opposite styles. Fitting for the Comedy Kumite. Enjoy your golden prize.

Today's Mood

War Journal

“Drugs sell themselves” might be too much pressure. I was just yelled at for passing on subway oxycodone. Classic case of overestimating demand.

Sales need a poker face. Assertive isn’t mumbling “Oxy” while staring at the train floor, or screaming at your customer base. Keep it light. I’m not buying drugs from someone more stressed than me.

Navigating a small injury (nothing newsworthy). The trouble is seldom the wound itself, but my gnashing of teeth under any deviation from The Plan. At this age, you’d think I’d get that the universe doesn’t care about The Plan. Nope.

I’m a little more zen this time. It helps that any freakouts I have are permanently recorded in multiple formats. I recommend it. The mental ankle bracelet keeps me out of trouble.

Liking the Punisher is a journey. I’ve read stories about this loon for twenty years, and genuinely great artists have used him for everything from riffs on action movies to dissections of American justice. Something special happened with Ennis when he wrote about Skull Boy, and I own half of it in print. As for the failures, they trend towards hilarious trash, which has its own place in my heart.

Then there’s the zeitgeist. Subliterate cops tattooing the logo on their skull. Culture writers blaming Frank for problems invented by pastors, presidents, and slave patrols. Fans declaring the death of Western manhood every time Frank gets a standard comic book gimmick. I wish more of the human time spent fighting over these books was spent reading them.

I found the first, last, and only lesson of flamewars: the best move is not playing at all.

P.S: This isn’t a subtweet of the last run. The ninja gimmick’s fun. Remember fun? It’s why you started reading cape comics in the first place.

Street Fighter added a control mode for people that grew up outside, which is nice. Naturally, half the old guard hates it. I’ll quickly defend accessibility here, since my work speaks to fellow tryhards.

I like pain too. I’ll pedal through a windstorm to meet a quota no one tracks. Or play ranked fighting games. I get it.

A lot of people are interested in both. They might need a minute with training wheels before the Five Boro Tour. The tour still exists. Their training wheels don’t take away from our suicide attempts. In fact, more people will sweat, bleed, and cry with us next year thanks to those wheels.

Sidebar: If you dig Street Fighter 6 and hate pedal-assist ebikes, just flip the above.