Extra Evil - The Night Before Substack

Today’s Fortune: Your beliefs are the sole objective truth.

Newsreel

BA2 received the community support a child needs.

Texas outlawed third dates.

Junior copywriters plagiarized weed memes for rent.

The struggle over what subgenre of terrible Twitter embodies began.

Netflix cancelled fan-favorite investors after two seasons.

Clarence Roberts continues to breathe free air.

War Journal

In order to exploit modernity, rather than be ground out under it, the email versions of this newsletter will now be sent out through Substack (or our Patreon, for junior dinosaurs like me). They’ll both have the same exclusive satire pieces as well. Everyone on the mailing list before next Wednesday will get the fancy paid membership free. Because I’m just that kind of guy.

tldr?  whitelist extraevil@substack.com if you love me.

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I’m at the tail end of my first semester of teaching. I’m honestly impressed by the talent and enthusiasm available, mostly because I had neither at nineteen. This is killing plans for the “grumpy old man” arc I had planned for myself.

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Online dating is the only reason I own a photo of myself. I like them too, so I’m thankful for it. The odd catfish is the price of doing business.

The Present

I’m proud to have a bit of hilarity up on 1-900-HOTDOG. They’re the last decent website on the internet, and the sole guardians of a certain comic tradition.

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My book’s on sale at Barnes and Noble with the code PREORDER25 until Friday. I recommend it, as an unbiased party.

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If you’re near New York or love flying, come check out my book launch.

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As stated above, The Dayle Bail Fund lives.

 The Past

This New Yorker riff went viral when I wasn’t paying attention.

The Future

Everything Abridged shall divide the holy and sinful on May 24th.

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Two New Yorker bits in queue, so I guess I’m not washed up yet.

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Video project moving into a finickier phase, but encouraging progress.

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Fiddling with new prank ideas. I’ll get the photos for the last one up eventually.

One Sentence Reviews

Veep (Season 5): Nothing tastes as good as failure that isn’t yours. (5/5)

Veep (Season 6): A bit like “Eraser” on loop. (3.5/5)

Veep (Season 7): A bit like The Imperial March on bassoon. (4.5/5)

Navalny: A documentary about the biggest non-cancerous balls I’ve seen in years. (4/5)

Signing off

Thanks for reading Extra Evil, the newsletter with plunging investor interest.

-DD