Exclusive Evil - The Phantom of Hinge

I couldn't resist.

Apr 10, 2023

Bonus article! It’s like yesterday’s holiday, but better. If you enjoy it, bless someone else with it. If you don’t, punish them.

Also: Everything Abridged is now available with a little extra Everything. And in paperback. It’s like this newsletter, but better.

The Phantom of Hinge

By Dennard Dayle

Thursday, February 16 at 2:19 PM

You sent Katherine a rose.

You
A vision…from the gods…
From which heaven did you fall? What are your dreams?

It’s a match!

Katherine
uptown
i want 2 sing

You
The opera! I dabble.
Text me at 1-212-PHA-NTOM. I will unlock your destiny.

Katherine
hmm
maybe

Sunday, February 19 at 7:44 PM

638-436-7372
is this Derek?

You added contact “Katherine (Hinge).”

You
Hello, flower of the digital fields.
This is *Erik.* Now, and forevermore.
Has the sun kissed your skin this fine morning?

Katherine (Hinge)
hi
it’s good
i like ur mask

You
You must never remove it, Katherine.
Until the third date.
That is a coy joke. NEVER touch my mask.
Tell me you understand, Katherine.

Katherine (Hinge)
lol
my real name’s Christine
gotta b careful

You changed contact name to “Christine (Muse).”

You
True. There are madmen out there.
Christine. A humble harmony hailing from heaven.
;D
That is a flirty wink.
NEVER touch my mask.

Christine (Muse)
k

Monday, February 20 at 3:28 PM

You
Quite the exchange! It’s time we met.
Shall we descend my labyrinth of madness? Or do coffee?

Christine (Muse)
don’t like coffee
what’s a lab rinse?
nvm googled it
sounds fun

You
Excellent.
You may enter my world of shadows and mirrors this Thursday.
After 7. I have to work.

Thursday, February 23 at 7:30 PM

Christine (Muse)
running a few behind

You
For you, I would wait forever.

Christine (Muse)
which trap door is it
there’s a bunch

You
Any of them.

Thursday, February 23 at 10:03 PM

You changed contact to “Christine (Traitor!)”

You
I couldn’t help but notice…you brought company along.
Company of a male persuasion.
Who is this vagabond?

Christine (Traitor!)
that’s raoul
just a friend

You
Excellent.
I was almost worried.

You changed contact to “Christine (Angel)”

You
All will be well, as long as he remains a friend.
And you never touch my mask.

Christine (Angel)
i might :)
;)

You
Do. Not. Touch. My. Mask.

Christine (Angel)
okay whatever jeez

You
Would you like to go hatchet throwing? Or return to my maze of death?

Christine (Angel)
omg labyrinth please
so tired of the hatchets

You
Tomorrow, at dusk. Bring a smile. Do not touch my mask.

Friday, February 24 at 10:45 PM

You
Things got intense. I hope you had fun anyway.

Christine (Angel)
dude
your face is jacked
not cool

You changed contact to “Christine (Harlot!)”

You
Well.
I told you to never touch my mask.

Christine (Harlot!)
and i told you i wasn’t staying the night
i thought we were compromising

You
Violently violating my vile visage? Such vanity!
After all I taught you.
Yours is a benighted generation.

Christine (Harlot!)
raoul was right
ur a catfish

You
Your “friend” again? With the unburnt, unmutated face?
Perhaps all women are the same.
Why not catfish? When only rejection waits in the light?

Christine (Harlot!)
u look like jerky

You
You look like betrayal.

Saturday, February 25 at 11:33 AM

You
Excellent time last night.
Don’t worry about the mask stuff.
I hope you enjoyed my labyrinth.
We can do more lessons, whenever you’re feeling up to it.